Scott Ritz

They call me the Oscar Mayer of Twitter because my tweets are mostly lips and assholes.

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

@GM has a terrible appointment scheduling system that sends you constant reminders of your appointment, but when you get to the dealer they’ve never heard of you.

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

How many times does he need to invade Poland before someone does something?

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

Nothing says “strong leadership” like a school superintendent who needs bodyguards to meet with one senior citizen. Isn’t that right @YeagerBrent ?

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

I think maybe it’s time for France to come take the statue back.
#ICENazis

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

@RL_Status @milanbrunet2 Unavailable

[TASK the Ol’ Nerdy Bastard @UpToTASK]

So for those keeping score. Charlie Kirk’s killer, Tyler Robinson, is:

Transgender:🚫
Queer:🚫
Black:🚫
Muslim:🚫
Immigrant:🚫
Democrat:🚫
Antifa:🚫
White✅
Christian✅
Conservative✅
Republican✅
Male✅
Straight✅
Gun Fan✅

Sorted. Leave us out of it. Deal with your own shit.

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

How you MAGAts feeling now that we know it was one of yours that shot your savior?

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

@punishedmother Umm, he looks dead to me. That’s pretty accountable.

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

If you complain about anything at the St Paul Doubletree (a @HiltonHotels property) the front desk staff will offer to kill themselves for you. Happy Suicide Awareness Month!#NationalSuicidePreventionMonth

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

@Laliber58047373 @GregAbbott_TX Eat a bag of dicks?

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

@GregAbbott_TX You literally just admitted to gerrymandering.

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

I think we need to start a gofundme for the Olathe PD so they can finally install turn signals in their cop cars. @OlathePolice @CityofOlatheKS

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

Damn, Trump, I know you wanted us to focus on something else besides pedophilia but did you really need to kill Ozzy?

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

Make America England Again

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

Today I learned that my son thinks the words septum and rectum are interchangeable

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

Brace your urethra for turbulence.

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

Sir, I did not pull you over.

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

Just heard someone say “Racism is ok if you’re single.”
That is all.

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

Lies!

[Rocket League Status @RL_Status]

Matchmaking issues in Rocket League have been resolved!

[Scott Ritz @spinxter]

Just got an email saying Netflix is raising their prices. I didn’t know there was a tariff on streaming.