SpoonT

Just trying to make due.

[staring accusitorily at my wife while i die @Hegelbon]

TOM PETTY [seeing the most beautiful woman in the sexist dress of all time]: oh my my, oh hell yes

[grace spelman @GraceSpelman]

lmao I love how this quote gets written up in a serif font, thrown into photoshop in front of some textured off-white to mimic paper so you think it's from Joan Didion or something. I just googled it and it's not from... anywhere

[@ratlimit @ratlimit]

COOKING SHOW IDEA: Contestants must sneak as much sawdust as possible into a dish. Most sawdust wins. They're kicked off if restaurant patrons don't finish the meal. The catch?—Patrons are told that child chefs w/ leukemia made the food. Bald child actors watch them expectantly

[Jack Mirkinson @jackmirkinson]

declaring that "personal liberties" are your north star in the same email where you're announcing that you're banning all views but your own from the newspaper is a helluva thing

[Adrian @blagojevism]

This confirms ancient lore about boys embarking on lengthy interplanetary journeys to reach the gas giant Jupiter, where, God help the poor brutes, they get more stupider.

[Liv @Liv_Agar]

When Marx said “we will make no excuses for the terror”

[@ratlimit @ratlimit]

Aggressive drivers make 0 sense. I'm in here feeling goodwill towards all who dance the dance of the road. Strangers trust me with their lives; I repay them threefold with my own trust. We will all reach our destinations, so help me God. May our cars never touch!

[Mart @Martposting]

Fucking woke up

[Hanno Lustig @HannoLustig]

Just had a good phone call with Trader Joe's. I'm going to keep shopping there for now.

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

This is my favorite video on the internet!!

[wint @dril]

"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

Weeping as I take aim: Tell me more about the wojacks, lennie.

Lennie: Oh boy oh boy and that’s the the chudjack he’s blackpilled. That’s chad wojack he’s based and that’s me. Wifejack is here and she has red hair and is always smiling and I like to pet her hair and rub her and-

[iNaturalist @inaturalist]

This emerging Desert Pancratium plant (Pancratium sickenbergeri), seen in Libya by abdulnaser, is our Observation of the Day!

More details at: https://t.co/JCBrIKXYXb

[austerity is theft @wideofthepost]

you literally spent all cycle trying to stick us with Joe Biden as the nominee because his dumbass staff kept inviting you to white house parties as an influencer

[HOLD THE LINE STARMER #MISTAKESINTOMIRACLES @GarlicCorgi]

This looks like a show they would have had on burn notice where Campell's character admits he had a brief acting career