its very embarrassing to get into new things while married as he sees the awkwardness and tried-out performance of ur changing in real time but it's necessary ego death we must WALK THRU FIRE
A lot of you don't view a prospective partner as someone to experience and learn and grow and share with and instead want a fully formed commodity to acquire in whole immediately
The sad reality is that this is 90% of the world. Just pointless misery. And the hard lesson taught to us by colonialism is that even if we step in and run things for 50 years the minute we leave its right back to this. All we can do is look away. We cant save them.