Caroline

dad what are you doing it's shark week

[Pukicho @pukicho]

I heard they’re killing you at work tomorrow

[َ @solacexe]

be at work lookin ugly as fuck

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Happy 250th birthday to the greatest country that’s ever existed 🇺🇸

[Rèed @Ian_San254]

Hey there delilah whats it like ruining my fucking life you fucking bitch

[michelle @chlorophormgirl]

I’m miserable because I never got to try the Panera lemonade that killed people

[trash jones @jzux]

"can i be a hater for a second?" my dear friend. with me you can be a hater for 1 million years

[brayan bello defender🙂‍↕️ @tessiesbestie]

yeah I keep my money in offshore accounts (the dunkin donuts mobile app)

[popsee @qopsee99]

Sorry if I was being rude I fucking hate you

[mimi :3 @smalltiddyemogf]

am I too old to get shaken baby syndrome

[Cal @SinclairMonaco]

It’s so cool when you’re hungover out in public failing low level speech checks. Like the barista says “how are you today” and you reply “thanks you too”

[miia @miiagarro]

i try so hard to be a calm understanding girl but i’m such a fucking rageful bitch omg

[CJ Pearson @Cjpearson]

If you’re spending the first weekend of spring at a No Kings rally, let me be the first to tell you if no one else has: you are a fucking loser.

[Jett 🜲 @iky_fwjett]

ur not an it girl unless someones mom had one-sided beef with you in middle school

[Tyler @BalloonFlavour]

Bombing Iran to distract from the Donna Kelce home renovation

[Tony on the boat @realfromtheboat]

Secretary of Defense for less than a week and already bombed the shit out of Iran… Power corrupts

[deedee megadoodoo @givemebudlight]

if they nuke us can they make sure to do it in the morning i don’t wanna work all fucking day just to come home and get nuked

[❀ @deallium]

i lied i am the jealous type i hope everyone who speaks to you explodes

[Solyricon @Solyricon]

He’s gonna tell everyone you were a psycho anyway, babe. Cause a scene.