doug

The world turns on its axis—one man works, while another relaxes.

[doug @ssmnmd]

At such a breaking point with the horrible music neighbour I am considering writing him a heartfelt letter asking him to consider those around him even just a little bit. If that is not successful I am going to burn his house down while he’s asleep

[doug @ssmnmd]

If all the crabs on deadliest catch rose up together and attacked the captain at the same time I think they could take over the boat. The captains are comically unprepared for this

[doug @ssmnmd]

Finishing book three of Knausgaard. My Struggle? He should’ve just called this thing My Prick Dad

[doug @ssmnmd]

Baby daughter is being discharged from intensive care today!!!!!!!! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

[doug @ssmnmd]

Funny parts of ivf

[doug @ssmnmd]

The sound on the tv stopped working for a bit today and I immediately burst into tears so yes I think I’m pretty on top of my emotions

[doug @ssmnmd]

By “following a recipe” as opposed to “feeling out the general vibe of it” I think I may have made the best mashed potatoes of my life

[doug @ssmnmd]

Sorry to brag but I now have two beautiful daughters rather than just one 🥰🥰🥰

[doug @ssmnmd]

Saw a guy coming out of the NICU earlier with an open beam and coke can in his flanno pocket 👌🏻

[doug @ssmnmd]

Just accidentally hit Renee’s metal water bottle with the tv remote twice quickly and it made the EXACT sound of the two cowbell hits in that one Deep Wound song

[doug @ssmnmd]

I only fully understood the American mindset once I realised they often eat eggs not on toast, instead just like on a plate with some other shit next to it. They are a basically irredeemable society

[doug @ssmnmd]

This was my high school nickname 😔

[doug @ssmnmd]

Getting into self-help

[doug @ssmnmd]

Reading this while my daughter watches Madagascar 2: Escape 2 Africa and there is actually a fair bit of crossover

[doug @ssmnmd]

Invented a new thing called megadepression

[doug @ssmnmd]

Tomorrow my very fast band MESSY INSIDES are playing our last show for a while because Angus is moving to Paris (!) and Renee is soon to give birth to our second child (!!). If that plus “secret international art crust hyper grind band” doesn’t sell it for you then nothing will.

[doug @ssmnmd]

@Citizen_cone lol I just assumed it was satire, nice to know I am literally the world’s best parent

[doug @ssmnmd]

Great bit my daughter has been doing where she opens a Where’s Wally book and immediately goes “found Wally!” and you say “good job, where is he?” and she gestures at the page and goes “somewhere in there”

[doug @ssmnmd]

They should do an open mic but you can just go up and say one joke. I have one thing Ive thought of that I think is stand up funny. I have no other things and no interest in developing any future things I may think of. What avenue do I have to express myself.

[doug @ssmnmd]

One like = one prayer that I can find the DIY space my band is playing tonight without embarrassing myself in front of a young person 🙏🏻