having the hiccups will truly reveal which of your friends worship at the alter of science and reason (suggest holding your breath until the hiccups go away) and which of your friends will try to “scare them out of you” like a fanatical priest from the 1800s
post-hangout affirmations
-i was normal
-there are at least 2 or 3 people alive
who are worse to spend time with
than me
-no one wants me to die
-nobody noticed when i missed my
mouth a little bit & spilled some diet
coke down my shirt