The "fawn" trauma response is people pleasing, it's laughing at/feigning interest in things that actually repulse you, it's taking care of someone physically or emotionally because you're worried they'll attack or hurt you otherwise.
And "fawning" is VERY often EXHAUSTING.
My 55 yo friend who is having postmenopausal bleeding just called me from CVS in TX bc they refused to fill her Rx for misoprostol (used to open the cervix) bc she couldn’t prove she wasn’t having an abortion. She is having surgery in 2 days. This is what total abortion bans do.
When someone doing deep healing work mentions they are lonely, it’s not always a lack of people, but a lack of supportive people. People who understand the depths of what is feels like to be turning your world upside down in order to find relief. To those, I see you.
I just realized my non-US friends probably don't know how US insurance works.
So lets say your employer offers insurance. They pay a portion and then you pay a portion. For a family, the employee pays on average about $400 per pay cycle, or $10,400 per year.
The solution to healing from abuse, is not teaching the survivor to forgive. The solution is holding abusers accountable so the abuse stops. This is the message that needs to be passed on to the next generation, so abusers have consequences, rather than enablers.
If you are hiking in a group and waiting for slower people to catch up, don't start walking again when they do catch up, because then you got a rest and they didn't.
I think about this tip a lot, in many different contexts.
Please be cautious when calling someone a ”control freak.” Many of us grew up in environments where making a mistake cost us greatly. Our fear of being out of control, is our fear of being unjustly punished. If it’s not hurting you, let them be.
Sometimes, all you need is for someone just to be there, even if they can't solve your problems. Just knowing there is someone who cares can make all the difference.
It may be a little selfish to find your peace and joy first, but that doesn’t matter. Be that selfish in the sense that you are seeking it to be of benefit to yourself and to others.
I don’t like formality. There’s no formality when we’re born and none when we die. In between we should treat each other as brothers and sisters because we all want to live a happy life. This is our common purpose and our right.
You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it's hard. Not because you're doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don't avoid the pain. You need it...