My coworker accidentally became the office psychic because he guessed one pregnancy correctly and corporate America completely lost its mind.
This man is not psychic.
He’s barely observant.
One time he spent twenty minutes looking for his phone while using the flashlight ON HIS PHONE to search.
But during a Monday meeting, our manager walks in looking stressed, and my coworker casually says:
“Big week coming?”
She freezes.
Then quietly says:
“…how did you know?”
Turns out she had literally just found out she was pregnant that morning.
Now obviously there are a million reasonable explanations.
Maybe she looked nervous.
Maybe he got lucky.
But instead of saying,
“Oh, I was joking,”
this idiot smirks and goes:
“Energy’s different today.”
I watched HR lose color in real time.
After that, rumors spread through the office unbelievably fast.
By lunch people were whispering:
“He notices things.”
“My cubicle always feels weird around him.”
“He predicted Jenna’s mood swing last month.”
No he didn’t.
Jenna just yelled at the printer every Thursday.
Then came the coffee incident.
A guy from accounting drops his mug and it shatters everywhere.
Before anyone can react, my coworker sighs dramatically and says:
“That was supposed to happen.”
SUPPOSED BY WHO???
Now accounting is afraid of destiny.
People start approaching him privately asking weird questions.
“Should I take the promotion?”
“Do you think my ex is coming back?”
“Is this year bad for travel?”
And because my coworker thinks everything is funny, he starts answering like a haunted fortune cookie.
“Doors open for people willing to disappoint themselves.”
“You already know which path costs sleep.”
“Thursday carries risk.”
THURSDAY CARRIES RISK???
One woman canceled a dentist appointment because of that sentence.
Then he accidentally got another prediction right.
A regional manager flew in unexpectedly for a “routine review,” but my coworker had spent all week vaguely telling people:
“Something high-level is shifting.”
Now employees are staring at him like he’s the last wizard at Hogwarts.
Things escalated when the CEO visited.
Important detail:
nobody told us beforehand.
The CEO almost never appears in person.
So when my coworker walks into the office that morning and casually says:
“Lot of executive energy today,”
people nearly collapsed psychologically.
By noon the CEO arrived.
At that point the myth became unstoppable.
Employees started leaving little offerings on his desk.
Candy.
Tea.
One woman left a crystal shaped like an egg.
He kept them all because “free stuff is free stuff.”
Then HR made it worse.
Instead of shutting the rumors down, they quietly moved him into a private office “to reduce workplace distractions.”
Congratulations.
Now he has a chamber.
Coworkers began scheduling unofficial “guidance sessions.”
I walked past his office once and heard him telling a grown man:
“You can’t keep watering dead plants.”
The guy came out crying.
Catholics don't pretend to know whether anyone is or isn't going to Heaven or Hell, even themselves, unless they've received divine revelation saying so.
We have hope and faith that living in a state of grace and receiving the sacraments will get us there (ordinary means of salvation), but there's no assurance of salvation because we have free will.
There also exists extraordinary means of salvation: God can save those who, through no fault of their own, do not fully know Christ or His Church, if they sincerely seek God and cooperate with the grace they receive.
In strictly theological terms, Catholics do not consider Mormons (Latter-day Saints) as Christians for these reasons:
Rejection of the Trinity: Catholicism affirms one God in three co-equal, co-eternal Persons (Nicene Creed). Mormonism teaches three separate gods (God the Father, Jesus, and Holy Ghost) united in purpose, not in substance (tritheism).
Different understanding of God: Catholics hold God as an eternal, immaterial Spirit who has always been God. Mormonism teaches God the Father has a physical body, was once a mortal man who progressed to godhood, and that humans can become gods.
Additional scriptures and revelation: Catholicism holds that public revelation ended with the apostles; Scripture and Sacred Tradition are sufficient. Mormonism adds the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price as equal or superior scripture, plus ongoing prophetic revelation.
Fundamentally different Christology: Catholic teaching is that Jesus is the eternal, uncreated second Person of the Trinity. Mormonism views Jesus as the literal spirit-brother of all humans, a created being who became divine (similar to other gods in their cosmology).
Apostolic succession and authority: The Catholic Church traces its priesthood directly to the apostles through unbroken succession. Mormonism claims the original Church fell into total apostasy, requiring Joseph Smith’s restoration with new authority.
These are only a few of the differences which places Mormonism outside historic, orthodox Christianity as defined by the early Church councils. Bottom line: LDS theology is a radical departure from the fundamental tenets of what one holds as a Christian.
They're similar on the surface, but the underlying metaphysics (the nature of reality) are completely different, so the words and names you use here are fundamentally different than Nicean language while it still looks like they fit together.
I'd be curious who the LDS equivalent of Thomas Aquinas is. Who's done the metaphysical heavy lifting to describe your theology coherently?
I agree that Patricia's episodes have been the best, but not necessarily because of Kate O'Flynn alone. She's so good, don't get me wrong, but her stories have had movement, whereas Tom's are emotionally burdened. Matthew Rhys has done a fantastic job of lightening his emotionally burdened stories with physical comedy, but they've lacked action and movement, with the exception of my favorite bit, the Sea Hag Chair Flip.
The show is a bit of a slow burn, as most mystery boxes are, so the episodes with a lot of movement and quick progression stand out. So far, she has gotten those standout episodes.
I have no doubt that either Rhys or Root will have an episode like that this season, possibly each of them with the final two.
Patricia really shined this week though, didn't she? The Carribean Blue montage was so good.
Remembering challenging one of my high school tormentors to a game of chess, MY domain, unwisely humiliating the ogre, enraging him to the point that he flipped over the table and tried to force me to suck my own dick in front of everyone and I had to wear a back brace all summer