stef 🫴

one tweet after another

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

"It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one's life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than 'Try to be a little kinder.' "
-Aldous Huxley

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

@EastEndJoe He would definitely be dumb enough to take his helmet off

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

@HunterBiden @JaulaDePerreo Time to paint the opposition into a corner ✊

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@JaulaDePerreo How about “Let’s take another crack with a Biden.” Needs work but the possibilities are endless.

[Visa is doing marketing consults (see pinned!) @visakanv]

i have had conversations with thousands of people at this point over the last 20 years about this particular problem, and observed how it played out for many of them. the answer to 'excess self-awareness' is to redirect your awareness beyond yourself. help people. volunteer. etc

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

The Vanishing American Adult: Our Coming-of-Age Crisis—and How to Rebuild a Culture of Self-Reliance
https://t.co/TsUPBxZT95

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

tracking along the way this time 📚 thread of some of the books I've read (or re-read) in 2026

recs welcome/appreciated - you can see some of my tastes in the 2025 list

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

thread of some of the books I've read (or re-read) this year, no particular order

*not all of these are recommendations 😂

[Scarlet Astrorum @ScarletAstrorum]

When you start to be more charitable with others and more responsible with yourself, you can recognize those traits more easily in other people. So then you can have a moment like “ah, you too!” when you see those traits in your future spouse.

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

@politico Transparency! 👊🇺🇸🔥

[Candace Owens Trying to Read (Parody) @candaceReading1]

Botched idioms and malapropisms. pt 1

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

💌

[Noah Smith 🐇🇺🇸🇺🇦🇹🇼 @Noahpinion]

Hahahaha Roon and I both got Miles ♥️

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

@AlanMCole I'm all out of face (card)
This is how I feel
🎶

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

@kenthecowboy_ Should have just written this in a reply on Substack like a normal person! Didn't expect to have so much to say when I set out to respond.

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

Great article!

I finally saw it this morning and my friend and I walked across the city afterward and chatted about it. I agree with a lot of what you've said here, and I think there were some depictions of elements of trauma bonds/abusive relationships too (taking for a moment the wish out of the equation, more or less).

This is apparently a friend group of 4 who seemed to be pretty close (not only worked together a lot but spent time together regularly doing casual things). Obviously since Ian is sleeping with Nikki he assumes Bear is taking advantage. Obviously since Sarah is into Bear she thinks Nikki is taking advantage. Weirdly everyone agrees she's "going through something" and it's out of character, but neither Ian nor Sarah reach out to Nikki directly?

And Bear is being abused (again, taking the possession of the wish out of the picture) but never speaks up for reasons that are probably a mix of his low agency, his remaining attraction to her, his overwhelming guilt over turning her into this aggressor, and his wanting to preserve her standing with their peer group. I think it's noteworthy related to abusive relationships bc that's how they are - abusers have friends they aren't abusive with (if they weren't charismatic they wouldn't have access to anyone) and inevitably those friends would say things like "no you must have done something..." Or "...they were always nice to me/I've never seen them do anything like that." And people being abused often bite their tongues for any of the reasons above save for the mysticism of granted wishes, and bc they assume they won't be believed. I'm guessing this is maybe amplified for men bc of gender "norms" around this.

I'm still kind of wondering what we were meant to glean from Nikki giving money to the homeless guy? Or was that just a plot point to give the other three a chance to talk about her briefly?

Very good points in your piece about (paraphrasing) the perils of limerence and idealization! That's really the backbone here as Bear starts out ~blindly idealizing Nikki, though one could argue at least he had some interrelational stuff he was leaning too hard on and exaggerating bc he'd been swallowing his feelings too long. Nikki in contrast was idealizing him but couldn't answer the question at all on why she even liked him when he asked toward the end, realizing as many men would that it's simply not enough to have a woman be obsessed with you, want nothing more than to fuck and please you, and anyone who thinks a horny agreeable woman is their dream is in an immature fantasy. What he really wanted was to have his wish genuinely granted, without so much exaggeration: the woman he desires desires him in return and feels a depth of love for him that is unparalleled in anyone else. That she likes and sees and feels for him in the way he believes he feels for her.

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

@kenthecowboy_ I also wondered why tf he was called Bear until I saw his work badge and realized everyone calls him Bear short for Baron, I guess?

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

@basilYam 🧡

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

@mattyglesias Trigger warning

[Shreyash Shukla @shreyashhtwt]

Ray Bradbury's timeless advice on rebuilding your attention span

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

@thetrueshelby I'm sure we'll pay to replace it

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

@Paul_Melman 😂

[stef 🫴 @stefaesthesia]

I don't think HIPAA should apply to US presidents and I think the next person in the job should change that.

He gets away with lying about his health exams because no one is allowed to correct him or provide counter evidence.

[Seth Abramson @SethAbramson]

I have to think that in the decades-long history of extremely rudimentary, comically easy dementia tests, no dementia patient has bragged so frequently and with such quiveringly indignant jowls about taking them