I really miss it being the "three of us." We don't want it to just be the two of us. We're really not as much a couple without a child. We're a couple that HAD a child. Everything is, in some sense, overshadowed by that reality. It's just the two of us again. What was, was lost.
Every day is a gift. Is there someone you haven't talked to, gotten with, hugged, or expressed love to in a while? Don't wait. As finite, contingent beings, we are often forced to learn things through experience. Don't let an irrecoverable loss be that experience. Love now.
Grief is an odd thing. In some sense, it is an extension of love. It is distinct from sadness because it is tied so distinctly to loss. Like nostalgia, it is concerned with what once was. Yet, with anxiety & hope, it is preoccupied with the future - a future that will never be.
Grief is powerful and dangerous. Like a sudden gust of wind it can unsteady you. Like a crashing wave it can knock you off your feet. Like a strong tide it can drag you down. It manifests as a passion easily mistaken for rage.
Sometimes, the power of grief is found not in what you feel, but what you don't. This is the power to subdue all feeling; to leave you numb to the very thing you once felt more deeply than anything you'd ever felt before. Once shaken to your core, there is now a barren absence of feeling. Try as you may to rouse yourself, the tears won't come. In vain you try to unshackle yourself from this torpid insensibility.
Here is where grief and guilt conspire together. Confused and dazed, you mistake this new lack of feeling for a deeper lack of love - "did I not really love what I lost?"
Yet, just when its deadening effect seems final, as though it had successfully snatched all the color out of the world or muted every melody, a random sensation leads to an uninvited memory and all of a sudden you feel a somber smile rise up in your soul...
Wait - is it a smile? You can't be so sure.
Like a spark, grief returns (though in truth, it never really left you) as something faint and fragile though it glows with vigor and teases violence. Under all the lifeless ash there is a deathless ember. If you're careful, you can rekindle it into a steady fire and rest beside it awhile, enjoying the warm embrace of tender recollections tinged by the sorrow of loss. Unguarded, however, the same subtle spark can quickly break out into a blazing inferno. In an instant, all the progress gained by peace seems lost, as though you're back again to that cold and lonely place where grief first met you.
Grief is a puzzling thing. The same thing that inflicts so much pain has now become the guardian of your most precious memories. You'd rather have the company of grief than suffer the alternative: forget. Here we put Tennyson to the test. For me, his maxim proves true. It is better to have loved. Grief, however odd, however dangerous, however puzzling, is welcome here because it is the pallbearer of my most cherished experiences. It bears them to me over and over and I would rather have this than welcome the silent abyss of oblivion.
Is grief a companion or am I its willing hostage? Does it matter?
In the end, grief will only travel so far. One day grief may give way wholly to gratitude - even now the two are intermingled. If that day never comes, I know for certain that grief will and must surrender to glory. The Apostle Paul guarantees as much when, relaying God's promise to us, he writes that "our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory." Elsewhere he reasons that "the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." If this suffering appears so great, then how much greater the glory of the beatific vision will be.
Until that day, grief will persist, and it is only right that it should. It is a timeless reminder that I have known "the goodness of the Lord in the land of living." If what I lost was not so good, why would I grieve its absence?
With that, grief and gratitude continue their elaborate dance.
How to rise from the floor
When it's not you I'm rising for?
...
And with the dawn, what comes then
When it's clear that everything will never be the same again?
What a champion!
Sydney McLaughlin set a world record in the 400 Meter Hurdles.
She said afterwards:
"Records come and go, but the Glory of God is Eternal. I don't deserve anything. But by grace through faith, Jesus has given me everything."
More of this!!!! 🙏❤️🙏❤️
Hello, friends. For the many who wanted to watch Gus' funeral service live, but were unable to do so, here is the recording. I've provided some time signatures below for those who want to skip around:
https://t.co/RvDMw11cAn
0:00 - Tribute Video: 229 Days
15:10 - Prayer for Comfort
17:25 - Scripture Reading: John 9:1-5
22:00 - Poem Reading
24:24 - My Eulogy for Gus
45:40 - Letters of Thanks
58:13 - Prayer of Gratitude
1:00:37 - Homily
1:14:45 - Hymn: Be Still My Soul
Once more: the thousands of you who have followed our journey and offered your prayers and words of encouragement have our deepest thanks.
I was blessed to have been able to say goodbye to Gus today and meet his parents, Mark and Amanda. They are a truly beautiful family and will always hold a very special place for my family.
Mark gave an incredible eulogy to Gus that had a profound impact on me. Thank you for sharing your 229 days of Gus with so many. ❤️
Gus was laid to rest under the shade of an oak with one of the most beautiful skies I've ever seen.
.@mark_joubert
Watch this (whole thread), then explain why you’re OK with a man beating a woman in public for your entertainment. This isn’t sport. From the bullying cheat in red all the way up to the organisers who allowed this to happen, this is men revelling in their power over women.
Finished 27th in 36:41:22 for 13th consecutive Badwater 135. Had some leftover energy. Turned around at the finish at the portal and ran back to the start line - 270 miles total. Probably once in a lifetime.
📸 Matthew Watts (Final climb to the Portal)
We've been busy preparing everything for Gus' service. It's good to have something to keep us occupied in the wake of this dramatic change. It's incredibly hard to believe it's been over a week since he died. Not sure if we are grief-fatigued or if it has yet to really sink in.
Grief and gratitude, as well as frustration and disappointment, are the predominant emotions we've been experiencing. At other times we feel numb. There are moments we want to cry but cannot. Once things settle, we are looking forward to taking focused time to rest, process, and reflect on the last year.
God is kind, and his word offers guidance and insight for every phase of grief. While there are guardrails - such as warnings against despair and overmuch sorrow, grieving as those who have no hope - there is room for a wide range of human emotion. Grief and faith are not enemies. Our compassionate Father knows our frame, that we are but dust.
In today's Olympic judo competition, Nurali Emomali from Tajikistan 🇹🇯 refused to shake hands with the Israeli 🇮🇱 Baruch Shmailov and shouted “Allah Akbar” instead.
Shortly after, he was crying with a dislocated shoulder. That's instant karma 🤣
Hello friends. Here is our obituary for Gus. Hard to believe it's been a week since we handed him over for what felt like another routine procedure. Thanks for all your support and encouragement.
https://t.co/hg10dlxJKt
**In Grateful and Loving Memory of Augustus Elliott Joubert**
December 4, 2023 - July 20, 2024
Augustus 'Gus' Elliott Joubert, 229 days old, of Louisville, Kentucky, passed away peacefully on July 20, 2024, in the arms of his loving parents, having been in the company of family and friends throughout the day. Born on December 4, 2023, in Louisville to Mark and Amanda Joubert, Gus was a beloved son, grandson, nephew, and cousin.
Gus' life inspired people all over the world. Born with a severe congenital heart defect, Gus received a heart transplant on January 16, 2024. Despite the coordinated efforts of his medical team, his new heart did not start beating, sparking a viral request for urgent prayer that quickly garnered the attention and prayers of thousands. Supported by ECMO, and to the surprise of many, his heart began to beat the following day, marking the beginning of what would become a long and arduous struggle toward recovery.
Gus' story highlights the value of each life, the fatherly goodness of God, the efficacy and solidarity of prayer, the gracious gift that each day with our loved ones represents, and the transcendent and far-reaching impact of love.
Gus knew nothing but love from his parents, family, friends, and the team at Norton Children's Hospital who cared for him every day of his life. He loved attention, smiled at his loved ones and caregivers, and made remarkable progress before succumbing to complications following a medical procedure. He will be missed by all those who were blessed to know him. Free of leads and lines, he is now in that place the theologian Jonathan Edwards called a "world of love." By grace, he rests in the presence of that One who is the Fount of all Beauty.
Gus is survived by his parents, Mark and Amanda of Louisville, Kentucky; his paternal grandparents, Norman and Sandra of Orleans, Vermont; his maternal grandparents, Scott and Monica of Newport, Vermont; his maternal great-grandmother, Denise of Newport, Vermont; his aunts Melanie and Anna of Louisville, Kentucky; Melissa (Justin) and Michelle (Roland) of Dayton, Ohio; Laura (Zeke) of Sandown, New Hampshire; Meagan of Derby Line, Vermont; Sara (Craig) of Newport, Vermont; and Michaela (Joe) of Lowell, Vermont; as well as numerous cousins. He was preceded in death by his cousin, Philip James McNamara.
A celebration of Gus' life will be held on Thursday, August 1, at 10:00 AM at the Reformed Baptist Church, 3400 Wilderness Trail, Louisville, KY. A brief graveside service at Cave Hill Cemetery will follow. Visiting hours will be held on Wednesday, July 31, from 5-8 PM at Bosse Funeral Home, 1355 Ellison Ave, Louisville, KY.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Norton Children's Hospital Foundation - Brave Hearts (an organization supporting families of children with congenital heart defects) or the Joubert family's GoFundMe. Those wishing to send cards of sympathy may address them to:
C/O Mark & Amanda
Reformed Baptist Church of Louisville
P.O. Box 991257
Louisville, KY 40269
The family would like to extend their deepest thanks and appreciation to the staff at Norton Children's Hospital for the compassionate care they provided throughout Gus' 229 days of life. Each day with Gus was a gift and their hard work and loving dedication made each day possible. Norton Children's Hospital, was, in the end, Gus' home. Gus' family also wishes to extend their heartfelt gratitude to their friends at the Reformed Baptist Church of Louisville for their steady support over the last year. Truly, they have continued to fulfill the law of Christ in bearing this precious burden alongside Gus' family.
Above all, the family will remain forever grateful to those who made the compassionate choice to donate the heart of their own child, granting Gus six more months of life.
"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done." Psalm 9:1
OLYMPIC DISASTER: Fitness guru Jillian Michaels sounded off after drag queens posed as Jesus Christ and the apostles in a controversial opening to the Paris Olympics. Her full remarks: https://t.co/04u4xzKWm6