Stephanie Dyan

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

💀💀💀

[Sasha Issenberg @sissenberg]

Correction: The press conference that the White House announced would be held “at the Ritz” will actually take place next to the Ritz Crackers endcap-display in the snack food aisle of the Wawa at 7912 Roosevelt Boulevard.

[Judd Legum @JuddLegum]

If you elect me president I will bring law and order said the guy who has been president for more than three years and is encouraging large bands of armed supporters to descend on the streets of American cities

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

And now working at Sam’s Club!

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

Nothing makes me feel more like an adult than shopping at Sam's Club.

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

Everyone: “What’s it like living in LA?”
Me: *Buys cocktail in Arkansas for $7 “Holy sh*t! That was only $7”
Same cocktail in LA: That will be $27 with a $5 bottle fee and a $16 smog fee.

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

Amex emailing you to update your income is life’s way of saying “Gurl! You sure your bank account can afford this lifestyle?”😂😂😂 #MakinItRainAroundTheGlobe #WanderlustIsExpensive

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

@Delta I left something in the back of the seat in front of me on flight DL0033 from heathrow to atlanta. How do I get in contact with someone to help me locate my belongings?

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

Being an adult is waking up with a sore throat and saying “Eh, I’ll see how it feels tomorrow and go to the doctor then” and realizing three months later you’ve been saying that for three months... #MyTonsilsLookGross

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

Today I googled, “How to stop being a terrible person”. I feel like this is a bottom of some sort. 😕

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

You might be a nerd if you make your mom tour grocery stores while on holiday 🙈

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

An hour at the dentist for my teeth cleaning + an hour at the dentist on a Brazil call. #ItsAllAboutBalance #MyDentistLetMeBorrowHisOffice

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

Hilarious... https://t.co/CX6JmY3DF1

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

Sitting in the parking lot at work debating whether I'm going to go in or drive away find a better life. 😐

[Justin Timberlake @jtimberlake]

Hey guys... it's May.

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

When you look at the clock & you actually do have time to go back to sleep & start the day over again... 😴🙈😬#WeAreGonnaHaveAGreatDayTake2

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

Today I'm grateful that Lane Mckenzie's sense of humor transcends Walmart politics. #ItFeelsLikeHomeAgain 😊😊😊

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

Sharing Dr. B memories across the team 😍 #MyFavoriteTeamBuilder

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

When you have to take a nap at 8pm to make it through your day 😩😭 #ThisIsRealLife

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

Slept through the Super Bowl which can either speak to my lack of interest in football or how sickly I am. 🤢🏈😴#ItsProbablyBoth

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

Woke up cuddling my Strategy textbook this morning. #ThisSemesterIsGettingInteresting 😩😭🙃

[Stephanie Dyan @stephiedyan]

I have an instinct to adopt the accent of whoever I'm speaking to. Which makes working with Brits increasingly difficult. 🙈😩🇬🇧