m

a corrupt human tornado

[m @sternie_]

If you don’t write yolo on my tombstone I will be back

[Tony @0xRacist]

.@AmericanAir I am a japanese man can I have a free business class upgrade to make up for hiroshima

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Banger

[Anna Riedl @AnnaLeptikon]

me with the laundry from the dryer

[miss information @intelligentpawg]

twitter is cigarette for the eyes

[Bill Ackman @BillAckman]

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

[m @sternie_]

Thinking about running for president to eliminate daylight savings time and reinstate breakdancing in the summer Olympics

[Gavin Christopherson @GavinCh03757910]

Chicagoland rn

[Pyramid Chad @pyrameadhead]

People are doing Malort shots with cicadas in them man, I need to get the fuck out of Illinois.

[Dimitri Diakopoulos @ddiakopoulos]

the google transformation into hooli is complete

[Daniella @DaniellaMazzio]

I worked at Mariano's pre-Kroger, when it had just (prematurely) rapidly expanded and was all in on its service counter shtick, and I can confidently say that Bob Mariano has the business acumen of a jelly bean

[thomas ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ @ThomasBeautyy]

i love being mean to people who deserve it like that’s something therapy cannot do

[gill @contactabrother]

she was cooking

[Paul E Williams @PEWilliams_]

This is a must watch. They're blasting Empire State of Mind while the city demonstrates technology that places like Akron, Ohio have had since 1973.

[10x'er @10x_er]

born to say “are you fucking retarded?”

forced to say “no worries! let’s circle back later”

[Gay-briel @Ian_Gay_briel]

new york needs to start turning californians away at the border what the fuck is this shit

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Khamenei’s official position is clear that the eradication of Israel is the actual goal, not just supporting Palestinians.

That will not happen. All that actually happens, decade after decade, is a never-ending cycle of violence and vengeance.

Stoking the fires of hatred isn’t working. Perhaps it is time to consider something else.

[m @sternie_]

Why is it easier to steal someone’s identity than it is to open a pack of NyQuil softgells

[Sam Altman @sama]

today we launched ChatGPT. try talking with it here:

https://t.co/uWra8LKFMN