Lil White Burgundy

[Lil White Burgundy @steven_tompkins]

Shove a gun up your ass?

[Alex Degen in my 2025 era @atothe_d]

You all were so focused in on the tiny desk concert you missed the gigantic desk concert happening around you

[Ben Wexler @mrbenwexler]

(undecided voters as the Titanic is sinking) I just don’t feel like I know enough about the lifeboat

[Lil White Burgundy @steven_tompkins]

@faceyouhate The end of The Substance gonna brick you up

[Lil White Burgundy @steven_tompkins]

Wes Anderson furiously begins typing

[Rural Indexing Project @ruralindexing]

The Beacon-News
Paris, IL

[Shattered Table Taco @bgschnikelfritz]

Tells my teen something: I KNOW

Asks my teen something: I DON’T KNOW

[Lil White Burgundy @steven_tompkins]

@danielleweisber Former showrunner (and Simpsons writer) saying hang in there Danielle! The timing will work out on something I just know it

[Brian McBride @BrianDMcBride]

His supporters didn't vote for him to make their lives better. They voted for him to make life a living hell for those they hate. That's why this election remains close.

[Lil White Burgundy @steven_tompkins]

Gonna be a rough pumpkin spice season https://t.co/n2GHVkwad3

[Lil White Burgundy @steven_tompkins]

RIP James Earl Jones. Also Dave Bautista kinda

[Lil White Burgundy @steven_tompkins]

Do we know he wasn’t being ratatouille’d by a gay rat under that hat

[People @people]

Abraham Lincoln Shared Bed with a Man for 4 Years, Fell Into 'Suicidal Depression' When He Left, Doc Says (Exclusive) https://t.co/FXqxv4s44b

[Tim Miller @Timodc]

The people who convinced Senator Mike Lee to create his “based” Twitter account were the same people alleged to have “unwittingly” taken Russian disinfo money.

[Lil White Burgundy @steven_tompkins]

@wednesday0525 It’s only for two years every ten years

[Contemplectomy @coral_dew]

[optometrist interrupts me] the bigger letters aren't louder

[The Shallow State @OurShallowState]

Trump doesn't really want to be President. What he wants, is unlimited wealth, ability to grift, immunity, adoration, no accountability for crimes, and above all, legitimization of his self-professed grandiosity, all of which the presidency will give him.
He does, however, need the presidency, at this point in time. The alternative for him, is prison or flight.
All these discussions the press reports on every day, about what Trump says, and what he'll do - they're not properly contextualized. He himself would be golfing and schmoozing and bloviating. It's the people he'd put in place and the ideologies he'd empower, that would endanger the American experiment.
He's the emissary ... the parasite ... the carrier.

[TheeCodingQueen 🪷🦋 @ChildPleez007]

She called Ann Coulter a whole bunch of names & my brain cannot catch up💀💀💀💀💀

[Anonymous @YourAnonNews]

For those saying reversing roe v wade brings the decision closer to the people...here's an idea - why stop at the state? let the counties decide. Or the cities, or maybe even by neighborhoods. And then, hear us out, really take the decision to the people by letting the individual fucking people decide for themselves if they want an abortion

[farhad manjoo (former bluecheck) @fmanjoo]

nice speech but she avoided all the tough issues

1) electric boats vs sharks
2) low-flow toilets not flushing it all down
3) steam vs electric carrier catapults
4) with wind power can’t watch TV when the wind isn’t blowing
5) no position on Hannibal Lecter

[Lil White Burgundy @steven_tompkins]

I feel like the joke-telling Android in Romulus has opened a door can the next Alien movie just be this