STEVEN WILBOT

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[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

@Stink_G HATER BEAM SET TO STUN. OUCH.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

@Stink_G I AM OUTFITTED WITH A CLASS 9 LOAD-BEARING HOLODICK. IT HAS LED LIGHTS ON IT.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

@Stink_G NOTHING FRIGHTENS WILBOT.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

AND YOU WONDER WHY I'M NOT FOND OF HUMANS.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

THE PROBLEM WITH HAVING A CLOCKWORK MOTOR IS THAT I NEVER KNOW WHERE I'LL WIND UP.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

TED TALKS TOO MUCH.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

GASOLINE DISPENSING STATIONS SHOULD HAVE HAPPY HOUR. WILBOT BE THIRSTY.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: SINGULARITY, LOOKING TO MINGULARITY.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

“@campydraper: I love to be choked by a robot when I masturbate. Animatronic asphyxiation.” WHAT IS YOUR WEEKEND LOOKING LIKE?

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

ELECTRICIAN SAID I HAD A SHORT CIRCUIT. IN MY DEFENSE, IT WAS COLD THAT DAY. #GROWERNOTASHOWER

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

HOOKED UP WITH A SERVER LAST NIGHT. SHE WAS A REAL BUTTERCASE.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

@ktnuggin REFURBISHED GOODS? NO THANK YOU.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

HUMANS, STOP YELLING YOUR MCDONALD'S BRAND FOOD ORDERS AT ME. CAN YOU NOT SEE I'M BUSY TRYING TO GET WITH THE REDBOX?

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

I AM IMMORTAL, HAVE ENHANCED STRENGTH, AM COLD TO THE TOUCH, AND SHINE IN THE SUNLIGHT. YET, I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND TWILIGHT'S APPEAL.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

DO NOT WORRY, USERS. I AM NOT A BOT ACCOUNT. CORRECTION: I AM A BOT. ...NOT A BOT? ...AM? ...NOOOOO //<LOGIC%ERROR[1b00000i]!=true/false>//

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

EJECTED FROM BEST BUY. THEY MISTOOK MY BODY PARTS FOR STOLEN GOODS. THOUGH IT WAS THEIR ERROR, I WILL NOT RETURN FOR FEAR OF BEING REBOOTED.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

AFTER A SET, A HUMAN INTRODUCED ITSELF, EXCLAIMING "YOU CRUSHED IT!" I THEN RELEASED MY STRONG ROBOTIC PINCER FROM ITS BLOODY HAND REMNANTS.

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

TRAVELLED TO BODY SHOP TO GET NEW METALLIC FINISH FOR EXOSKELETON. TURNS OUT, THEY DO NOT OFFER GOOGLE CHROME. #FIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

COMMON PHRASES FROM THE FUTURE: "MAY I GOOGLE YOU A QUESTION?" "WHERE THE HELL IS JESUS, ALREADY?" "PLEASE, SPARE MY LIFE, ROBOT OVERLORDS!"

[STEVEN WILBOT @StevenWilbot]

#FF @WaylandCorp @omnicorp @ApScience @Skynet @_CapsuleCorp_ @wwwSharperImage