Stoffi Jr.

I must scream but my lungs are full of tar

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

"Siri unscheisser my pants."

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

@Nemix_Proto i wrote the tweet while taking a sheet

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

Only the bravest of souls dare to take a shit in the porta-potty during these times

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

@UnfunnyTheThird Desperados 😋😋

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

I'm not a huge fan of gender reveal parties, but if I ever had to do one, I'd probably shoot myself with a paintball gun filled with blue paint if it's a boy, and if it's a girl, I'd use a real gun.

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

Me doing that trick where you wiggle a pen between your fingers to make it look soft with but with my penis.
But its accualy soft and i dont know how to do the trick.
And thats how i lost my job as a children's magician.

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

Im updating my will! When i die bake my ashes into bread and feed me to the homeless. So i can give back what little i took from them.

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

#TANKtheturned

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

When i inevitably perish due to alcohol poisoning put my ashes in a confetti cannon and shoot me at the nearest hooker.

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

@nocontextmemes @Nemix_Proto

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

Jolly Good @Nemix_Proto
https://t.co/7hIyCoC3sv
#unturned #MerryChristmas2024

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

Every time i go to the barber i pretend to have Parkinson so i can jerk it under the blanket.

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

When im supposed to be working but im just a chill guy that likes to shit.

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

@UnfunnyTheThird @SpaceLiminalBot Let me get jerked and blown here after eating a kebab 🙏

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

Deep sleep happens after an hour of falling asleep. So when i set alarms in one hour intervals i can combine sleeping and edging.
Im calling it sledging becouse it makes you wanna kill yourself with a sledge hammer.

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

@UnfunnyTheThird @ElonMuskAOC i love using the third last letter of the alphabet

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

@notacatbtw @UnfunnyTheThird @DaLoneGuy omg niko from oneshit

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

I love life.
I just wish i could say the same when im sober.

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

@CodeZerobruh Im going to break out of this mental prison and i will no longer be held back by moral standards. Its a beautiful day to eat a homeless person.

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

@UnfunnyTheThird It is after im done with the bottle.

[Stoffi Jr. @stoffijr]

Unpopular opinion:
Carbonated stuff tastes kinda bad.
Beer? No thanks ill stick with Bourbon.