Kay Kincannon

[Kay Kincannon @stopcallinmemom]

In case you were wondering, the proper way to eat a cracker is with it standing straight up and then letting the dog lick your hands.

[Kay Kincannon @stopcallinmemom]

I'm celebrating by not asking for directions and taking things that aren't mine.

[Kay Kincannon @stopcallinmemom]

Baby dragon for sale. Looks like human but growls. Not breathing fire yet.

[Kay Kincannon @stopcallinmemom]

Sign of motherhood: catching baby puke in your hand as opposed to letting it hit the sheets. Hands are easier to wash.

[Kay Kincannon @stopcallinmemom]

I gave my 10 month old a piece of onion ring so he would stop screaming. #judgemyparenting

[Kay Kincannon @stopcallinmemom]

Business trips are a great time to remember what it's like to get to sleep all night without a tiny dictator demanding food at 3 am.

[Kay Kincannon @stopcallinmemom]

@ChriswAllen for mom related tweets. Like sh*t my dad says, but much less funny.

[Kay Kincannon @stopcallinmemom]

Baby monitors with microphones are being underutilized. Hide one in public, and watch the confused looks of strangers looking for the voice.