giulius caesar

tater tot

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

hard day today..... accidentally locked eyes with myself in a mirror, immediately went into a fugue state, & 14 hours later became self-aware again on top of the empire state building facing gunfire from us military planes

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

@blythecate_ is he. bragging

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

no i can’t go out tonight i haven’t been feeling like myself since james caan died

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

What about if im in a rosemary’s baby type situation

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

new jersey italians have the most horrifically dysfunctional family units and go “famiglia😤”

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

new jersey italians learn one word (famiglia) and then never stop saying it

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

@blythecate_ what did we do to deserve this pain

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

Babe what’s wrong you haven’t been doing your Rasputin cosplay

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

Someone tell this teenager it means intergenerational trauma so she can go to sleep

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

Was falling asleep when my inner monologue said “im tryna work through someone else’s grief” and now im going to be awake until i figure out what it means

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

@blythecate_ that shits terminal 😔

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

@VictorBeling I commend you for tweeting such a brave and original opinion, even though theres so much controversy surrounding the matter. Simply inspiring

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

thinking about how my mom used to tell people how to spell my name by going “you know, like new york mayor rudy giuliani”
❤️

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

Obsessed with the idea of going on an expedition and accidentally disturbing an ancient and malevolent part of the earth in a remote jungle, falling into hell, and escaping with something more than just myself (its a demonic entity thats latched itself to my essence)

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

I have accidentally stepped on jor rorgen, bean shapiro, and aleggs jones (i didnt see them because they are so puny and i am so tall!!) so I can personally tell you that, yes, they do have hard exoskeletons just like insects ❤️❤️

[blythe @blythecate_]

@straightupdemon Yeah. Still can’t believe Cuomo upheld the travel ban instituted on you. Pretty anti-Italian if you ask me

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

I have like a troll under the bridge type persona except the toll i demand from you is emotional in nature

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

Lmaooo anybody remember when i named myself dictator perpetuo of little italy (nyc) and bill de blasio had to come and Brutus my ass because i tried to redistribute the sanitation department’s budget to The Rats?

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

You’re the person who falls in love with a dead body in a bog. Im the dead body in a bog someone falls in love with. We are not the same 😤🤌

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

Prince philip died today and his last words were “my only regret is that i stopped listening to thriller when the normies cancelled michael jackson” :( such a beautiful sentiment

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

Im pennywise in this scenario

[giulius caesar @straightupdemon]

I have never experienced orgasm ex machina (cumming with a vibrator) bc im convinced it will be so powerful my house will collapse in on itself like the end of IT: chapter two