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[🍓🌙 @strawburrymoon]

life lately 🍓🌙

[reversecowgirl69 @botticellibimbo]

everybody wants to come for women who read romance-fantasy smut, but the real non readers are “self development” book readers

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

oh my god I just realized it’s called the odyssey because odd things happen at sea and he’s like… y?

[🍓🌙 @strawburrymoon]

cuz none of us have houses 😩

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

We lost the art of having friends come over just to hang out

[xander @whosalex]

its so hot outside i fucking hate israel

[Hasan 👁‍🗨 @flackospalace]

Why did my phone send me this when I landed in Lebanon wtf??? 😭😭😭

[༺♡༻Chilli Mango༺♡༻ @byvenussss]

Hate my job but can’t leave bc there are no jobs 🫠🫠 so now what

I genuinely hate this reality

[🎮 @foreeeeeal]

great time to get an english degree honestly nobody can read or write you might become scribe to the king in the next 15 years if you know cursive the way things are going

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

I don't understand how you're supposed to switch careers when every job outside your current field looks at your experience and assumes you're incapable of doing anything else.

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

"ten years on this fucking beach" is such a great way to deflate the mythology and majesty of the trojan war in a single line. they really were just stumped by the concept of walls

[fola @kxngjollof]

I celebrated that Enzo red card like a goal

[🍓🌙 @strawburrymoon]

my study abroad country won 😩🇪🇸

[🍓🌙 @strawburrymoon]

cookie monster is STARVING 😩

[Cookie Monster @MeCookieMonster]

For every goal today, me going to eat a cookie.

[steph @hoovertime]

mamma mia is a masterpiece of a film for many reasons but turning “does your mother know” into a cougar anthem by christine baranski instead of a song from a man’s POV is actually so genius

[Caroline Renard @carolinerenard_]

Agamemnon had that shit on. It was pristine and clean cause he ain’t do shit but he had that shit on.

[paul @paulswhtn]

The third act of The Odyssey being like snorting 30 lines of narrative payoff cocaine

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

I can't breathe the air, I can't eat lettuce, I can't afford gas, and my kids have measles. But at least now our soldiers will have enough testosterone.

[this foo @daveed_1931]

Latinos have proven that you can be poor and still make good beans please don’t try to defend terrible British food bc woke

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

I'm sorry. Are we a fucking monarchy? Since WHEN do ELECTED seats go to next of kin in America???

[fox @soft_fox_lad]

Age discrimination is so insidious.

Quest Diagnostics gave the boy ahead of me in line a sticker for "being brave."

Despite being at least as brave, I received no sticker.