Heard a rival dad is planning to hand out king size candy bars for Halloween so now every trick or treater that comes to my house is getting a full rack of ribs.
The DNC has announced its convention themes:
MONDAY: Joe Biden Can Do 100 Pushups In 15 Minutes
TUESDAY: Slideshow Of Joe Biden Wearing Aviators Between 2008 And 2013
WEDNESDAY: Obama Killed Bin Laden And Biden Was In The Photo
THURSDAY: What If We Give Everyone Ice Cream
After my mortgage payment, 401k/529/IRA contributions, my annual 6 week vacation to Europe, private school for the kids, 2nd home in the Hamptons, a handful of angel investments and country club membership I basically live paycheck-to-paycheck
This economy is the worst
Mothers Day:
Here are flowers and breakfast in bed, don’t lift a finger, it’s your day!
Father’s Day:
We thought it would be fun if you grilled everyone dinner, also here is a Home Depot gift card so you can finally hang those shelves.