Onyx and Peridot

[Onyx and Peridot @studydoodles]

Sleepy. <3

[Dr. Pol @DrPol]

Jeepers! An all-new, unstoppable season of #DrPol is right around the corner 👉 January 11 on @natgeowild. Are you ready?

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

Child [looking at bottle of supplements]: What’s an elderberry?

Me: It’s like a regular berry except it can collect Social Security.

Child [rubbing temples]: This is why we don’t ask you things.

[Aussies Doing Things @aussiesdointhgs]

When mom takes your Xbox away

[Myke Cole @MykeCole]

When you’re angry that strangers try to control what you do with your body

[Aussies Doing Things @aussiesdointhgs]

Me vs. the new people flooding the gym on January 1st

[Sheldrick Wildlife Trust @SheldrickTrust]

A nelly new year! Let's make this New Year and new decade one focused on protecting picture perfect creatures like Eco, and Mwitu. Are you in? Get involved in our conservation work at: https://t.co/xNBeWq5GXN

[Donald Trump’s Neck Vagina @torontobaddy]

When my sister in-law was a waitress in Canada, she was taking drink orders from a group of Americans. They each ordered a glass of red wine. She suggested they choose a LITRE instead. They spoke among themselves and one man put up his hand and said - “I’ll be the leader.”

[human aaron @humanaaron]

me: *gets down on one knee* will you help me make this tree house into a tree home?

girlfriend : *shouts from the ground* I can't hear you, why can't I just come up there?

me: no girls allowed

[Cheeky P @0000seapea808]

‘Happy New Year?’

Maybe we personify the new year too much?

It might want to be contemplative and quiet without the added pressure of also being ‘happy’

[bubble girl @JessObsess]

I could never work in a restaurant because if someone didn’t finish their food I’d be like, just take 3 more big bites.

[𝖈𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖎 ⏾⋆ @corriature]

saying “happy new year”:
-unoriginal
-makes u sound like a boomer
-no one’s happy we’re just drunk

saying “welcome to the future”:
-dope as h*ck
-friendly
-have you been there the whole time? they’ll never know

[Mave @MavenofHonor]

No one knows for sure if the last gif you send in 2019 predicts your 2020, but I’m not taking any chances