Captain Obvious

Ending world hunger one chicken sandwhich at a time

[Christopher Reilly @ctreilly21]

DAD BLOOM (creds to @stunningparker for this) 😂😂😂

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

Happy New Years

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

@maxNcheeseok retweet

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

Documented Critical Essay? More like DINNER COMES EARLY. #comeseepippintonightweneedthesales

[kate is great @katelynnkelleyy]

Come see pippin! Get your tickets before they sell out! 🎉🎉🎉 http://t.co/J3spaMjoRe

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

@jelder12 I believe I have a "moist" sense of humor

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

How can a guy be stuck for 127 hours if there are 24 hours in a day 😑

[Madison❥Bevan @mad_bev]

Psychology friends triangulating a study at spring fling📈💡💥😂 @adamhfisher97 @stunningparker

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

@MackieKravitz same

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

Sorry Thomas, the Declaration of Independence is above 140 characters #whatifinsteadofwritingthedeclarationofindependencehetweetedit

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

Guys do you think Instagram would be as popular if the app picture was a swastika

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

@TheAcademy God California is so hot rn at 55*

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

Boo

[Madison❥Bevan @mad_bev]

When prepping for the IA becomes a pizza party...🍕🍕 @adamhfisher97 @stunningparker

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

My life philosophy

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

S/o to the guy who gave me free TBell

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

@ErinSchafheitle @MackieKravitz @adamhfisher97 I will only see the show for the sweatpants

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

@Kloowis clang?

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

25 minutes of Bolt Tv #clang4prez

[Captain Obvious @stunningparker]

"This is racist sugar right here" -Joanne