Eric Aaron Lizer

Writer by Day 🛡 Rider by Night

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

And THAT'S one to logoff on 🌠

[໊ @sonohoor]

they don’t see the wrong in their actions because they hang around people that normalize it

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

@ringernba Dammit Ant! 🤦🏻‍♂️

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

I just read something that said "ride him reverse cowgirl while holding his ankles and when he's ready to nut tickle his feet" and now I don't want to internet ever again.

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

I hate it when both food or people attack me with their terrible taste.

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

I'll rip the ass off a banana quick. Don't test me.

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

Cake is the English version of Aloha. Seriously, it means bread based dessert, urinal deodorizer, stacks of money, AND booty cheeks!

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

It's not the finale we expected,
but it's the finale we deserved.

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

I've started a new diet and can eat anything I want but have to do it with my shirt off in front of a mirror.

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

Unless you can burst into a whole mess a bats I'm not tryin to hear it.

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

@JeremyPaulSays Y'all might get Caleb Williams if ya stink.

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

What's the best way to seem interesting when you don't have much talent? Tattoos, getting into IPA's, piercings, or growing a beard?

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

I don't ask for much but I do expect you to have an upper lip.

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

I subscribe to Bukowski's ideology of "finding something you love and letting it kill you." That's why I sleep with my head under an acrylic, mounted, solid 20-pound painting of my Muse at night.

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

@MS_GIGI_ Happy Birthmonth Gigi.

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

The fact I'm not loveable is comedy in the truest and darkest sense of the word. 💯

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

@Le_Jen Y

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

Everyone out here tripping over Barbie, and I'm like, have you even seen Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen? D'you even #Habro??

[Eric Aaron Lizer @sumamabish]

Why would you allow yourself to be called daddy or doctor or have her yell "yes, Chef" in bed when deep down you know you want to be called Magic Johnson?