N Jones

Only guilty man in Shawshank

[N Jones @suntzu189]

Didn't we all? (Coming from a "pre-successful wrestling coach")

[NBC Entertainment @nbc]

When Jason Mendoza described himself as “pre-successful”, I really felt that.

[Dustin Grage @GrageDustin]

The European mind cannot comprehend this

[JT @jiratickets]

happy too much sitting has ruined my body day to all who celebrate

[ً @artfuIchaos]

i want people to unknow me

[Tony Shiffman @CoachShiffman]

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there

[Behr🕷️🕸️ @behrclops]

Speak ill on the small C again and see what happens.

[greg @greg16676935420]

I’m usually not one to start conspiracy theories but someone or something is controlling Elmo in this recent video

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

“Comparison is the thief of joy” that’s a pretty good saying. But I’ve heard better

[Travis Chapman @Travispaints]

Papa Roach. My father‘s Day painting.

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven.

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

PAPER TOWEL COMMERCIALS ARE SO FAKE. ITS ALWAYS A KID SPILLING JUICE AND NEVER A CAT THROWING UP.

[Big Tee @societyhatestee]

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep.

[crys 🥠 @iamnotcrys]

SHE IN THE CLUB WIT US

[J. Jonah Jameson @JustthefactsJJ]

Outside doing WHAT EXACTLY????

New York is in the process of being burnt to the ground,

And yet here we have the “hero” dressed like a Knicks fan standing on top of a taxi in the middle of Manhattan like he’s the Grand Marshal of a parade NOBODY approved of!!!

[N Jones @suntzu189]

@marytylerpoor He wasnt even watching the game when they won

[Maid Attacker @necrobranson]

Trying to avoid eye contact with my wife this Saturday morning as she has a big exclamation point quest giver mark over her head

[Andor Quotes @andorbot]

The rebellion isn't here anymore. It's flown away. It's everywhere now. There's a whole galaxy out there waiting to disgust you.

[bart @soxbart]

“It’s filled with popcorn.”

Yeah not falling for that. Literally how they tricked Troy.

[René @schizohustler]

the worst part of getting fired was the hr lady butchering the delivery while reading my tweets

[Moira Donegan @MoiraDonegan]

There are lovers you forget and sandwiches that haunt you for the rest of your life.