ryan

Set a market order ‘cause I’m pretty sure I got this

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

@hashtag_skyler

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

@hashtag_skyler

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

@hashtag_skyler @MTA @PeteButtigieg Yeah you tell em.

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

@hashtag_skyler I still haven’t figured out what this means

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

@hashtag_skyler Disagree

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

RIP Jimmy. A pioneer in the art of chugging Coronas with the boys. This one goes out to you.

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

@hashtag_skyler Paying for a gym with a sauna <<<
Waiting for the subway at 8pm in August >>>

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

@paulthesalierno Love that I just got a Twitter notification letting me know that, in 2023, Paul finally figured out what “there’s no such thing as bad press” means

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

I wish someone told me how hard it was to poop in a vest BEFORE I started working in finance…

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

5. Ashton Kutcher?????
6. If you wanna run practice at your house do we really need full pads? Feel like we can make this a film day. Uppers only at most.
7. Where did this kid get a snake?

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

My thoughts on Cheaper by the Dozen 🧵:
1. I would have gotten a vasectomy 9 kids ago
2. No grandparents? Aunts? Uncles? No one who can help out here?? Dad’s got 6 brothers noone’s got a spare weekend?
1/x

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

3. At least 3 of these kids can act like an adult here. Maybe even 5. Stop hiding in your room acting like this isn’t your problem.
4. As a dad at what point do you just start yelling? We got kids rappelling out of windows here. Get it together.
2/x

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

@hashtag_skyler You can’t weigh much more than that… stay safe 🙏

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

DreamWorks: “Hey, guys. We’re making a sequel to that Shrek movie and we need something lighthearted to set the tone. Can you help us out?”
Counting Crows:

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

#IWasThere

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

No, I didn’t just chug 2 pints of water in the hallway… it was like that when I found it…

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

@hashtag_skyler You’ll never recover with that attitude

[Skyler @hashtag_skyler]

Me: “wow after several days it is finally a comfortable temperature in my prewar New York City apartment”

The radiator, immediately:

[Skyler @hashtag_skyler]

Is this a fucking joke @NYCMayor @EmpireStateBldg @NYPDPC @NewYorkFBI

[ryan @super_ryan12345]

@paulthesalierno