Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙

Here to help. 💙 (since nobody else is paid to do it) (Official Parody Account)

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@pieterlategan_ You can change your fiscal address by getting a new job.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@ianmiles @boo @elonmusk Sorry for the inconvenience, but it seems our boss currently blocks ads on his own platform. We are currently working to fix this by making promoted tweets unblockable.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@jamespjudge @POTUS Making up a situations are we? They've had a constant stream of addressing it, yet this is when you choose to pipe up? Pathetic.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@MikeM2014 @GretaThunberg @TwitterSupport @elonmusk @TuckerCarlson @bariweiss @TaraBull808 @RepMattGaetz @RogerJStoneJr @clownworld @catturd2 @ForgiatoBlow47 @MikeCompton Hi Miguel, I'm glad you tagged us so we can inform you directly that the reason nobody is responding to your support tickets is because nobody here cares about you or you're $8/mo patronage! Cheers!

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@Jizayy_ @TwitterSupport Those platforms do not support our narrative, and therefore must not be promoted.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@TwitterSupport This is very pro free speech of us as we believe in not allowing users to promote other social media that don't promote our values because we are so dedicated to free speech.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@TwitterSupport Very interesting, as we recognize that many users are active on other platforms, we will no longer allow you to talk about those.

You may still link to them, but you're not allowed to talk about them.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@julesman101 @bi3followers1 @TwitterSupport Unfortunately it would only be against ToS if they were named "buy followers" this is not the case here so it's within the ToS.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@krunal3kapadia @TwitterSupport Unfortunately the guy responsible for checking hacked accounts lost his credentials during the lockout. We currently outsource his one-man department to a room full of chimps with keyboards.

We will continue to provide the bare minimum to keep the platform online.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@Karen31d @ChayaRaichik10 @FBI @TwitterSupport Hi, what seems to be the issue here?

Mohammad's tweet does not violate any ToS as far as I can see, it's a perfectly fine and agreeable tweet!

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@RayGreatZambini @elonmusk @TwitterSupport @Twitter This does not violate any twitter ToS. I suggest you read up on them here:
https://t.co/7XV6RS7FCy

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

I'm not a bot lmao #TwitterLayoffs #TwitterBlue #Twittershutdown #ElonMusk

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@c_Iaus @Vinnstrr @TwitterSupport

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@sunnydays5022 @crushtheLNP @blakandblack @TwitterSupport @elonmusk Unfortunately @elonmusk these tweets do not violate the New ToS that Elon had issued earlier today.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@creamzrl1 @TwitterSupport Unfortunately we are going to have to ban you again as ban-evasion is against ToS.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@BlessGoldFlower @andreasharsono @TwitterSupport We will be sending on-sight personelle once we get the funding for our international "peace and intervention" department.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@zaythelegend @TwitterSupport Unsure what this means, but I'll let Joe in the archives know and we'll find out if we can resolve this without litigation.

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@svenvarkel @elonmusk @TwitterSupport Out contacts at the Investigation Committee of Russia said that this suspension was necessary for reasons of "national security" :)

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@Lou_LKB @elonmusk @TwitterSupport I'll let my contacts at @MetaSupport know what you're up to. :)

[Twïtter Support (Parody) 💙 @support_parody]

@all4bavovna @TwitterSupport @Shadow_Ban_Bot Sorry, but this user violated our policy on lying about the ToS. We do not "shadow ban" we clearly stated in legalese terms that we reserve the right to "limit distribution and visibility of content."