Susan

you don’t grow when you’re comfortable.

[julia @juumelo_]

how many grams of protein in drinking a bottle of wine with your friends outside

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

No ma’am, I don’t have a boarding pass. I’m simply here to enjoy the world famous dining and nightlife at O’Hare International Airport

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I didn't know I was a Knicks fan.

[Jessy_szn💕 @Astro_jessie]

Me sensing an opportunity to randomly sing a song mid conversation based off words you said

[Drayne Gang @Drayne_the_Wolf]

Kinda wish cars had brake lights on the front too. Would be nice to know when I'm at a red light if the altima in my mirror going 1,000,000,000mph is planning on stopping or rear ending me into the 9th dimension.

[Big S @shireegod]

It’s humid asf Chicago Orleans

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

food and drinks consumed in a movie theater doesn’t really go into your body. it goes into your movie theater body which is separate & holy and harm-proof

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

If I shenan once

I'll shenanigan.

[CHANEL MURDER @ChanelMurder]

trip to the beach is calling me real bad

[Cuck Liddell @c0ck_l3snar]

few things are up your butt and around the corner anymore

[soup🍓 @thrluv]

hot honey dubai chocolate flavored SSRI matcha protein infused GLP-1 suppository ft ludacris

[swinky @swinkying]

went to the Shut the Fuck Up factory and they said ur late for ur shift

[Nichole @nickyyknowsball]

Flying into ORD is a huge test of how patient you are bc that taxi to the gate is no joke

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Do u wanna come over and lay in bed like the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

[CHA$E @jehovahsflyest]

imagine you’re 5 years old & your parents are addicted to their phones

[l!v @bpddestroyer]

I can tell ur ass went to Jupiter to get more stupider

[⚭ @lekimgym]

You need to touch saltwater sometimes
not always grass.

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

Felt the sun and immediately felt great, I'm literally a flower

[sammie ✮⋆˙ @rockstarkittn]

thinking about the matte blue scooby doo fruit snack