Immaculate Deception

Ctl-Alt-Del... reboot

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

@kylieminogue @iamwill #TheVoiceAU Why aren't you two releasing a song together?!? It's seems like such an obvious match!

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

Please stop requesting twerking demonstrations. My private health insurance refuses to cover it!

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

@EnglishEmma sleep well Em

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

My girlfriend was about to call 000 then I told her I was just twerking.

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

@VivicaDelicious even the "Fancy Cat" subscribers??

[@sshole @Lisa_Laughs_]

Fun Fact:

Facts aren't fun. Drinking is fun. Sex is fun. Hunting people for sport is fun.

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

@BoyCalledAnn it's Saturday in America. #yourwelcome

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

Sometimes I think I'm the Lenny Bruce of comedy. I'm not quite sure what I mean by that, but I'm sure it's funny.

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

Police on scene quickly and 1 taken away by ambulance

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

3 gunshots on union street near st kilda road next to Westley primary school @ 1045pm

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

Oh @littlephocafe! Is there anything you make that isn't amazing?? Pro tip, get in early for the Crispy Pork Roll! @NatKrug

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

@leechee420 @Haute_MILF woof

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

I love you @Nigella_Lawson!!!

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

A watched torrent never finished downloading

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

Pro tip: using vodka as an "extender" in your sangria is destine for disaster

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

Fuckers who tweet out their own birthdays suck donkey balls ~

~Happy birthday to me~

[Snorklhuahua @weinerdog4life]

Guacamole is Spanish for "Sorry I sat on your avocados".

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

@rabblearouser mazel tov!

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

@playfulMJ ... did you mean morning??? oh, you cheeky girl!

[Immaculate Deception @SvedishChef]

A girlfriend who goes to bed naked JUST IN CASE I am in the mood for sex when I come to bed is more than okay in my books. :)