sydney lauren

No one lives forever. No one. But with advances in modern science and my high level of income, I mean, it's not crazy to think I can't live to be 245, maybe 300

[lias @lias__]

Congrats to the Kelce Brother’s mom for winning the SuperBowl

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

There is something oddly romantic and lonely about the OB/GYN waiting room

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

I just remembered when I was younger I thought a double-spaced paper meant two spaces between sentences (hit the space bar twice), not more space between lines. I just don’t think there was a ever a lesson explicitly stating the intended instructions…?

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

Don’t get me wrong, I love Chippendales, but a backgammon club is something I could definitely get behind

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

Same yes. 100%.

[Daily Loud @DailyLoud]

Lil Yachty says he doesn’t have sex anymore because he had too much of it

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

Not even through the first day of shelter-in-place and we have a martini bar, an adult coloring book, and scrabble in use

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

A little kid just came up to me at the airport and started telling me all about his vacation. When I asked what his favorite part of the vacation was, he said, “I ate like an animal.” And I love that for him

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

I told my dad I was bummed I’d have to stop running to get water during one of my long runs. He decided to bike along with me and hand me water while I was running so I wouldn’t have to stop🥹

[jo @lassoleil]

everyone moved on, but i’m still here

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

If anyone actually knows what to do when people sing you “happy birthday” please let me know

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

Me and the chaos I’ve been inviting into my life recently:

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

Unfortunately this is the story of my life

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

I want to be loved the way it’s portrayed in books

[sydney lauren @sydney_auerbach]

This week, on Love Island, a new bombshell enters the villa.

Said Bombshell:

[Skyler Higley @skyler_higley]

I mainly wanna be on SNL for the part where everybody hugs at the end that seems really nice.

[chance @chanceposts]

if you’re fully vaccinated, the cdc says you can release your inhibitions and feel the rain on your skin

[descriptive display name that is way too long and @mrgracemugabe]

italy - entire country in lockdown
france - time for a smurf festival