gm and happy monday 🫶
This piece is one of two where I write about emotions and where I start to really appreciate the difference between how I was raised and how I'm raising my daughter.
Re:Parenting #4 - emotional regulation
I’ve always been an emotional person. Some would even say overly emotional.
As a child one ever really taught me how to manage my emotions in a healthy way and this made growing up really challenging for me as I had to face the hardships and trials of social life with no clear guide as to how navigate the world as an emotional kid.
It’s something that would late take years of healing through deep inner work in my 20s and 30s.
That’s one of the reasons why it’s so important for me to teach our daughter emotional regulation. To make sure that she has tools for it that I certainly didn’t have growing up.
Teaching a child anything, however, means that first I have to learn it myself.
One of the biggest takeaways of these first years of parenting has been precisely that.
Kids really do learn from example and they are extremely observant so this has forced me to be even more aware of my own emotions and reactions in a more grounded way. The ways I react to feelings of frustration, anger, confusion, sadness will inevitably be ingrained in her and become her own tools for managing them.
It’s certainly felt like an uphill challenge for me, as processing my own emotional baggage in real time and with a super observant audience has been no easy feat. It has however, proved to be really fruitful.
During a big wave of emotion one day, my daughter rushed into her castle tent in her room which had become her little safe space and refuge when she feels overwhelmed. I asked if I could go in with her and she said “No papa, me want to be alone”. I honored her request and waited for her outside. “Okay mi amor but know that papa is here for you the second you need me”. What happened afterward really impacted me. I peeked into her tent and she was taking consecutive deep breaths into her little lavender plush toy we had gotten her to help with moments like this. She was actually using it- on her own! Our little two year old was taking deep breaths through her emotions to calm herself down. Something that I myself couldn’t ever do through my teens and early twenties.
After a few breaths she poked her head out and said “okay papa, me want to play now”.
My eyes teared up. Happy tears.
I’ve always been an emotional person.
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Re:Parenting drops this Thursday Oct 19 at 11:49am on @0xCampfire as part of the @ArtOnAvax Avaissance Artist Residency.
Importante que todos los hombres escuchemos, aprendamos, evaluemos y cambiemos nuestro comportamiento, porque estoy seguro que todos hemos hostigado y ni nos hemos dado cuenta. El chistecito colorao en el trabajo, decirle cositas a las amigas, etc. Es bien complejo el tema.
Anoche me acosté pensando en lo mucho que ha cambiado todo en menos de 10 días. Esa manifestación de ayer, repleta sin convocatoria, la gente cantando con amor y convicciones. Es otro país. Y pinta hermoso.
El que estuvo allí y me vio sabe que mi protesta siempre fue pacífica, en silencio solo mostré mi arte de espalda a la policía, no había necesidad, ya habían lanzado gases, ustedes mismos me sacaron por el brazo por que no podía respirar les di la espalda para irme y hacen esto.
Xavier compró un juego de ps4 de miedo (sin saber). El tipo no puede ver películas de miedo, vamos a dejarlo ahí. Aquí está jugando en tensión y tan cagao’ que me levanto para estar al lado de él. 😂
Esto es lo más entertaining ever. Llevo con una risa cabrona toda la mañana. 😂