Ask me about my fatty patties

Burgers are life. But so are goats and otters. And my dogs. My wife is pretty cool, too. But, man....have you tried burgers? Stellar.

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

If Lilo doesn't pound the shit out of the snotty ginger in the live action remake, then @Disney will automatically fail.

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

@KCStar You never get tired of being a terrible paper, do you?

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

I'd like to just report all of 435 for potholes @MoDOT_KC or @KansasCity @MayorLucasKC whoever wants this. But specifically the northbound middle lane just south of the I-70 exchange on the Missouri side.

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

As we enter our super villain era, #KansasCity, remember to be classy like Lex Luthor, not abhorrations like Doomsday.

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

The @Ravens stadium should stop showing those sub-120 decibels. It's not a flex, and your fans are not rising to the occasion.

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

@getnickwright Sure enough!

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

@Jason Hey, lemme ask you. Anyone getting hired for IT support for $62/hr where you work? I assume you're in charge since that was 30 years ago, so you must be willing to hire at the current equivalent. Probably not.

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

@Necrul @talespire @HeroForgeMinis Replying to old comments is fun! Hey friend, I hope you've gotten to experience the integration since this post!

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

Just wanted to put this out there. Maybe even swing an invite over to @MayorLucasKC.
https://t.co/rnIVZkeSix

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

True love is bringing home the cyst you had removed to your wife knowing she'll love it. #TakeNoteFellas

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

@JamesUrbaniak It is a beautiful send off to a beloved cast of characters. Go Team Venture!

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

How did the fedora go from debonair to anthropomorphic "m'lady"? Is this John Hughes's fault?

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

Jesus fuck @NFL this is not refball. Are we going to have flags every other play? Hire the refs full time and fucking train them to be consistent.

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

Sorry, @DanSlott, but two of the medals I received in the Navy were for exactly this....

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

Whoever wrote the latest episode of @BobsBurgersFOX... I've got a hug ready for you if you need it. I think every child of divorce has one ready.

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

@NathanFillion This is my "I Am a Burger On the Wind" as overseen by Wash and his dinosaurs.

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

@LegendzJimmy @TotallyNotMark Haha no

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

Obviously, this can't happen until all the strikes have been resolved. So if the @amptp could quit jerking everyone around and pay people fairly....

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

Putting it out into the universe... A show starring @WillingBlam and @realjoeyfatone as brothers who solve wacky capers. Aaaaaand GO!

[Ask me about my fatty patties @talley_burger]

Just a reminder.... It still isn't X. And no one refers to it as X without tagging on "formerly known as Twitter". Don't believe me? The URL knows