How to get a pet duck:
"The neighbors have a giant pig!"
Him: You never saw a pig?
"Not like that! I think he's not a pet, but for eating. But I was thinking could we get a pig for a pet?"
Him: Start with something smaller like a duck.
"So we can get a duck?! 👏👏"
Lots of people are sharing misinformation and then "oops! clarification! that actually didn't happen!" follow-up tweets.
The honor code is simple: delete your tweet and apologize. That goes for many members of 🇺🇸congress this week too.
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
A counter protester drove his car into pro-Palestine protesters a couple hours ago and opened fire at young women and men demonstrators as they marched peacefully down the streets in Minneapolis
Ricky Gervais
Cardi B
Donald Trump
Christopher Hitchens
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Other than Ricky and Hitch, not my favorite people, but I'd just like to see what would happen. With vodka. 🍸
Those who are saying that nobody actually supports Hamas are incredibly naive. If this doesn't sober you up and send chills down your spine I don't know what you're doing with your brain meat.
@RepAOC The 🇺🇸 lost all credibility to take the "defensive capacity" moral position after 9/11 when the government lied us into war and did a bunch of war crimes. I tried to warn ya!
I just learned of @McpeakRichie's passing. He was such a bright light and really kept my spirits up during Covid. He always had a positive thing to say and represented the best of what we humans can be. My deepest condolences to the McPeak family and everyone who knew him.
That TikTok was right. You can put your butternut squash seeds in a pot covered with a little soil & in a few days you'll have 🌱. Now what? I have plants!
My MIL saw and just said "proljeće!" (spring)
No clue how this is gonna turn out. I didn't expect them to sprout. 😂
Don't get me wrong, I love Pam and think she's a natural beauty and looks gorgeous without makeup! I just mean the press reaction to it is over the top... like it's some shocking thing that a beautiful woman isn't wearing makeup and... she's still beautiful. Such big "news" 😂
@taughnee I commend her as she has been valued based on her looks forever. A lot of “normal” women couldn’t do that.
But, you are probably right… strategic move.
The whole Pamela Anderson thing is so stupid, although I realize it's a PR stunt and I like Pam.
"BREAKING NEWS: BEAUTIFUL WOMAN CHOOSES NOT TO WEAR MAKEUP."
I would like to remind you all that my mother-in-law grew butternut squash from plants that sprung up from our compost and that she thinks my butternut squash soup is "baš fina." Today she's unwell and I'm making her soup from her harvest. And I'm fucking psyched.
@txsalth2o Another person freaking out about a book being banned without actually looking into the actual book being banned? I'm shocked. That never happens.
Dutch political commentator Eva Vlaardingerbroek speaks out on the WEF's plan to impose a personal carbon allowance, linked to a digital identity card, under the guise of solving the climate
🔊… 🚨🚨🚨
As you might guess, there will be more taxes and more control over your life and your ability to move around.