Tay

[Tay @taylor_becker2]

how do i tell my mom that the boxers she wears as pajama shorts were left on my steering wheel by a teenage boy when i was 16

[lily @hondacrvthe3rd]

told my psychiatrist my antidepressants were making me unfunny and he said, “there are more important things” and i kind of disagree :/

[Jason Levin @iamjasonlevin]

Introducing your wife to your high school friends:

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

please don't ever speak to me about math. i've moved on

[peace + chemicals @_210128]

I wrestle with mania every day

[Luis Vercetti @97Vercetti]

me leaving work at 5pm without saying bye to anyone

[⛪️🐁 @kirchenmausi]

incredible thrift store find today

[chase @_chase_____]

i was sooo locked in today. didn’t get anything done. but i was like super aware of it

[trevy @chillextremist]

I’ve never contributed to traffic in my entire life that’s all on y’all

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Did u know if u drink enough alcohol u can call him 413 times

[Dan Carney @DanManCarney]

I googled how late is Arby’s open and the suicide hotline number popped up

[CoKane @KanesCabDriv3r]

So you’re telling me that you don’t actually take your pants off at bottomless mimosas?

[✦ eve ✦ @impossiblyeve]

i need a shock collar that zaps me every time i say sorry for no reason

[mad @uhquaria]

people saying he’s on drugs i act like this in the office at 10am

[kos @kostancaaa__]

God forbid women have hobbies

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I just checked Web MD and I have everything

[Mr.Carter @dexteristwisted]

I've noticed that anyone driving slower than me is a dumb-ass and anyone driving faster than me is a maniac