Taylør

🎸 🎶 🏈 ☕️

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

Told you.

[Taylør @TDWil53]

Dad I’m just calling to tell you I won the million dollars.

[Mr. Mike @mrmikeMTL]

No human interaction for 7 days. $1,000,000. Could you do it?

[♰ 𝙽𝚊𝚎𝚝𝚘 @fw_naetoblaq]

I told my cat, “If the soup starts boiling, let me know.”
Five minutes later she came over and started yelling at me.
The soup was boiling.
I’m not saying my cat understood me, but I am saying I’m a little afraid of her now.

[leen @viennasfool]

when i’m auditioning for a burnt out overachiever born and raised in chicago role but jeremy allen white walks in so i know its over for me

[Taylør @TDWil53]

Girl in the seat behind me at the theater last night said “oh I want to sit next to x so we can do commentary the whole time”

[Taylør @TDWil53]

@HiTopFilms Idk if we needed Lobo at all. At least in this particular story.

[Hunter📈🌈📊 @StatisticUrban]

Yeah man, you can really feel the spirit of togetherness coming from this administration in nonpartisan recognition of America’s 250th.

[Taylør @TDWil53]

@AdamSchefter The NFL Draft…Brought to you by FanDuel and DraftKings.

[Microondas39 @microondas39]

Cuantas vueltas da la vida eh

[Taylør @TDWil53]

@HawkEmDownChris Jim Sorgi

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

37 years ago today, ‘BATMAN’ released in theaters.

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

Country song 1960: I got laid off in December, lost the house this past July / and if you leave me, Mary-Anne, I’ll kill myself tonight

Country song today: A simple blade of grass makes me smile / And a baby is a kind of child.

[charming funnyman jon butter @thejonbutter]

Was trying to figure out what this recurring charge was on my card until I realized it was just me buying popcorn & soda at the movies

[Taylør @TDWil53]

@DonQuixote616 I once watched the lady in front of me on a flight double feature The Apprentice (trump movie) into Rio (animated kids movie).

[sani @crotfs]

love the anti-AI narrative in first light

[Fancy Boots @TexasFancyBoots]

“Please seek shelter at local bars”

[onion person @CantEverDie]

liberals when they see a meteor barreling straight towards earth:

[Kevin Finnerty @timeimmemorial_]

me getting ready to say “nil-nil” instead of 0-0 when someone asks the score at the World Cup watch party