Shidand Farta

Big ass, small tits, average ween

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

Whoever got my voodoo doll stroke the tip a lil

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

Yeah that groundhog would see his shadow. Of course he wanted more winter. Clearly some foul play here. I’ve got my eye on you Dr. Hog #bigchapstick #bigwinter #biglotion

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

LeButtPlug #greatness #imback #shidand

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

Jack Black’s middle name is probably “Isn’t”

[𝕸𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖙 𝕻𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊 @SeaDogFrog]

I have to stop. My smoke too tough. My swag too different. My bitch is too bad. They’ll kill me.

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

100 degrees with no breeze or cloud cover. Tsunami warning in my buttcheeks #swampass

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

@bowlofspinch I’m asking for 6 squares of toilet paper so I can finish shitting

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

Uber announced a setting where you can choose if you want a woman driver. More like if you want to get in a car accident on the way. #givememohammad

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

@babyoftheyeaar The left side of the seat looks like it was crippled in battle

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

The golden throne fit for:
1. My 3 year old cousin
2. Peter Dinklage
3. Bilbo Baggins

End of list #howthefuckamisupposedtowipe

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

@babyoftheyeaar Dave, looks like the toilet is refilling from previous use. How was the shit?

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

Wipin butt after peeing just to be sure

[Mason Bellinger @masonbelli_]

Poor buddy doesn’t know he’ll be back in the cubicle next week

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

@arch4life123 Friends are meeting us from Lonely Lodge and they’re absolutely wasted. They got terrible loot tho

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

Just watched #KevinTheCube pound 12 whiskey shots and then split the G. Absolute legend. Rotating to Retail Row now.

[stench @bowlofspinch]

Indian people leaving the house:

Phone
Wallet
Keys
Shit in my pants

Well I’ve got everything

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

Airport security flagged my groin area today #hunglikeahorse

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

Dude next to me is fully reading the safety feature pamphlet of this airplane. Does he know these things don’t crash unless there’s a Mohammad on board?

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

@ThaRealMinger Intriguing find here. Shall we explore the reality of a potential hookshotaroo or the andonearoo?

[Shidand Farta @tee_aych_cee]

Elon Musk, elephant tusk, fuckin at dusk. Pakistan in 7. #orlandohudson