Tempest Loves TV

Media critic. Taste domme. Expensive opinions. Stingy praise. It’s better when you earn it.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

I’m Tempest.

I watch television, films, documentaries, dramas, thrillers, & whatever else earns my attention.

High standards. Expensive taste.
I enjoy praising the worthy, guiding the lost, & punishing the uninspired.

Fund the critic. Improve the culture.
Are you brave enough?

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

@BritBox_US see! Sooooo many mistakes.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

@BritBox_US whoever/whatever you are using for captions is not working well. I am watching McDonald & Dodds and the captions just completely omit words and cut off sentences. They’ll be a period and 3 more words left in the sentence that just don’t get transposed.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

@Uber you have a serious issue with drivers preaching. Idk what pastor is encouraging this but I cannot get a ride in Nashville TN without the driver trying to illicit a religious conversation. This is extremely inappropriate and concerning. Jesus should not be taking the wheel.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

@Uber you all are THIEVES!!!!!!!!!!!!! You steal from the disabled on a regular basis.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

@UberEats you guys suck so bad. I mean genuinely. Fuck you. Your policy allows a 6 hour window for food delivery?! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! You have to know that’s insane.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

@Walgreens For anyone who may read this— this response message is fake. I messaged them the details they asked for and said they responded saying they can’t use that info and don’t have access lol. So this is all for show. They don’t actually do customer service.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

@Walgreens in your DMs

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Notes on Tracker:

This show has such a dated little fantasy of toughness.

Women are tough because they box, confront cheating husbands, and glare at mistresses. Men are tough because they shoot things and brood near vehicles.

The “badassery” is laughable.

It’s all so Gen X.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Exactly how many casting abominations can be traced back to The Telsey Office?

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Notes on Rules of Engagement:

Wait, is this a comedy or a cautionary tale?

Jeff Bingham is a horrible husband, which would be funnier if he didn’t feel like an alarmingly accurate depiction of the average marriage.

Terrifying.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Notes on Rules of Engagement:

Oh, so Russell is just Dennis Finch after money, age, and consequence failed to reform him.

I see the vision.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Notes on Tracker:

Soft-core porn for the straight male gaze in a procedural costume.

Colter Shaw, an unknown & unlicensed civilian, strolls into crime scenes while women in law enforcement immediately submit & act like protocol is optional if you’re pretty enough.

Ridiculous

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Notes on Tracker:

So lazy.

A victim marks a location by putting objects in the ground, and two episodes later the perp is doing the exact same thing.

Did we learn a new storytelling device and decide to use it until the wheels fell off?

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Notes on Tracker:

I can’t get over how lame this show is.

Apparently the only way television knows how to show a strong woman with PTSD is to put her in boxing gloves and make her cry.

Especially when the woman has never once been shown boxing before.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Notes on Tracker:

I have yet to enjoy a single performance.
Not one.

Everyone is either underplaying, overcorrecting, or grimacing through their own dialogue like it tastes bad.

The supporting cast interactions are especially brutal — super awkward, no chemistry, painful even.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Notes on Tracker:

I need to tally this man’s kill count.

Does the show end with Colter Shaw in federal prison?

Or is vigilantism fine when the cheekbones are symmetrical?

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Notes on Tracker:

Oh. My. God.

This show is insufferable, but the eventual dissection will be delicious.

I shall persist.

Under duress.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Notes on Tracker:

Justin Hartley’s Colter Shaw keeps deadpanning the dialogue, then emoting half a second later.

Is this acting style, character direction, or a software update waiting for the empathy patch?

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

@MalindaDetweil1 Stupid people.

[Tempest Loves TV @tempestlovestv]

Notes on Tracker:

Colter Shaw says (verbatim) “I don’t judge” so often I’m beginning to suspect the phrase is load-bearing.

Do the writers mistake repetition for depth? What ever happened to “show, don’t tell"?

Someone point me toward the writers’ room. I’ll send a thesaurus.