emily

emily | she/her | 20's

priv - @EvenKingsBow

[Toby Rogers @uTobian]

Oh, so this is what happened. Argentina has toxic beef that it can't sell. Someone made a call to Trump, offered to cut him in on the action, suddenly 660 million pounds of inedible meat-like substance is about to flood the U.S. market. Just follow the money, it tells the story.

[Moofish @Teh_Moofish]

Just saw someone call South Park “spiritually millennial.” South Park is like, the most Gen X thing to ever Gen X. I’m not sure if there is a single… anything, that is more Gen X than South Park.

[bunnie @CuriousBunnie12]

if i found out my husband was tweeting like this while i was bleeding out and pumping milk postpartum i would make gone girl look like a bluey episode

[Lucy Easthope @LucyGoBag]

I am deliberately mentioning this constantly because friends keep saying to me that it will be fine, and it really won’t. We are already a wildly disproportionate importer with profound reliance on overseas supplies. Food will be a luxury item

[mary queen of thots🍉 @txbamxnmicxh_s]

Niche UK Train pet peeve but I really hate it when they’re like “if you are planning on getting off at [X] station then you will need to move to the front two carriages after the next stop” and it’s then impossible to find out what carriage you’re actually in

[Spondor 🌲✞ @willowtarka]

Very evil genre of person who sees somewhere pristine and beautiful and immediately wishes for it to be developed and destroyed

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

1970s professor: "…and a final, brief thanks to my wife, who came up with the idea, did the research, wrote and edited, secured a publisher, and raised our children."

[em SAW ARIANA !!! 🦈 @lemonlyyy__]

@ anyone who’s announcing a UK tour anyone soon.

THIS IS THE UK THIS IS LONDON

[inhumans of capitalism (Ojibwa ) @Inhumansoflate1]

Insane statement

[fat chud @Cloverfield011]

Any other British moots have to constantly turn on a vpn fuck this shit

[O 🌚🌝 @chukwucha_]

We are heading towards unemployment levels unlike we have ever seen before.

[M i t t s @m_i_t_t_s]

This has the perfect dimensions for a Fortnite loading screen

[Brandy Jensen @BrandyLJensen]

need a way to access fb marketplace without ever, even for one second, encountering facebook

[Karim Wafa-Al Hussaini @DrKarimWafa]

There is no need to imagine what a dystopia might look like. We are living in the worst one.

[Briefcase Michael @BriefcaseMike]

Can't get my head round the media saying a robot has beaten Usain Bolt's record.
I used to beat Usain Bolt's record every day in my old Mini.
Has the entire world gone fucking mad?

[BladeOpotato🔪🥔 @BladeOpotato]

Seeing as how Rockstar is doxxing random people at this point just to find the leaker, instead of, idk, printing the game to discs...shows their exact priorities with this game release.

[kat @unicornskittie]

if you ask men what they would do if they were woman for a day. They almost always answer with things that they're shaming actual women for

[rune sword @runesword1]

holy fuck i just hit a gargoyle while doing 30 down the king’s road. my carriage has been fucking obliterated