Ezra

Mini Roll, Massive Joy - Ezra, 28

[Ezra @tertiarysqueeze]

If I get bottom surgery w/ scrotal plasty and don't announce it by saying "new balls just dropped" what will be the point

[Jannik Sinner @janniksin]

Paris! 🇫🇷 A special place. Feels good to be back 🙏🏻

[The Tennis Letter @TheTennisLetter]

Jannik Sinner after beating Tabur at Roland Garros

"Iga Swiatek received the whole stadium in LEGO to build with her own self on the court. Is that something you wish to receive as well?"

Jannik: "Well, I... uhmm…” 😂

*Jannik pauses*

Jannik: “Of course I'd be happy. In the same time I try to focus on playing tennis, you know? 😂

[David Benedict 🏳️‍🌈🕎 @eggsbened]

There are days when I miss being an editor and I particularly loved writing headlines. Whoever did this, I hope they took the rest of the day off.

[vini ミ☆ @sabrinautista]

her biggest enemy being behind her…

[feefee @fawnpilled__]

does my dog think my foot is like an extra hand when im petting him with it or does he think its like insanely disrespectful

[C @_CM_67_]

Americans not understanding that in this scenario you wouldn’t need a car park the size of Andorra

[tanya @Tanya_Sabrinaaa]

Me: Is giving a blowjob feminist or anti-feminist?

Taco Bell cashier: Look buddy, it’s transient, shifting like water

[Ezra @tertiarysqueeze]

Apparently I missed the memo about it being 'Bitch n' Moan Monday'

[Celina 52 Truck Stop @celinatruckstop]

Our long-time Cashier Margie had to be put down this morning after a 6-month investigation found that her high score in our Pac-Man Arcade occurred while she was on the clock and not on lunch break as initially thought.

After clearing her High Score, we allowed her one last moment with the machine before ending her life.

[chase @cfree94]

“Ricky Gervais since you aren’t here I get to accept this award on your behalf which means you are thanking god and the trans community” oh Wanda Sykes you will always be famous

[New York Magazine @NYMag]

“Ricky, I love you for not being here.” Wanda Sykes presents the award for Best Performance in Stand-Up Comedy on Television at the Golden Globes.

[jessi (Literally Just Jessi) @abandonedjessi]

piracy. it's a crime.

[Jay Smooth @jsmooth995]

Hard to think of a better compliment to one's work than how almost everyone who sees the news of his passing will react by saying the same word, exactly the same way 🙏

[Lummdo @lummdo]

Ayesha Madon is not doing Veronicas Untouched any justice ....yikes

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Macaulay Culkin says he has an idea for a ‘HOME ALONE’ legacy sequel:

“I’m either a widower or a divorcee. I’m raising a kid…. I’m not really paying enough attention & the kid is kind of getting miffed at me & then I get locked out.

My son won’t let me in… and he’s the one setting traps for me. The house is some sort of metaphor for our relationship”

(Source: https://t.co/DZRArwzxxF)

[vini ミ☆ @sabrinautista]

well of course. she can't read the lyrics

[Can't be blank @cheapncheerless]

Some of you are entirely too comfortable with not knowing ball

[Kit Kat ((commissions open)) @kittischmitti]

"Seperate the art from the artist" does not work when the artist is still alive and saying that the money she makes off it will go towards funding hate groups and legislation

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

POV: you're a zoo penguin about to be put down

[celia @_celia_bedelia_]

He’s….he’s talking about the Alzheimer’s tests they give senior citizens….