Tessa

The only thing stopping me from being pure white trash is my lack of motivation.

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

Can my family please stop stealing each other's two point plugs

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

Why go to an event if you can save money and just watch people's instagram stories?

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

dance like nobody knows you just ate an entire sleeve of oreos

[gwaai @ryeschwarma]

Don't work hard. Work smart. And by smart I mean do everything on Sunday night.

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

Midnight snack more like midnight 3 course meal w dessert.

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

I don't know who I am but I need to know how many calories are in this

[gwaai @ryeschwarma]

My mom should be a philosophy lecturer because she asks so many fucking questions.

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

@maretsteyn @jankechappiedt ek wil net remind dat die foto geneem was om die drank weg te steek.

[gwaai @ryeschwarma]

I've had like 8 hours of sleep in the last three days so I basically know what it's like to have 8 hours of sleep in the last three days.

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

If you don't have a cigarette burn, did you even rage?

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

I'm waiting for someone to be like "I'm an actor, they're all actors and you've just been on disaster life."

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

The real question is :If a girl does crossfit and is vegan, what will she tweet about first?

[chrsgovernor @chrsgovernor]

If you take biology, you're going to have a bad time.

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

@danellejacobs "@SixSecCovers: (Use headphones) steal my girl https://t.co/CC8wrOdWlT"

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

If I can survive hay fever, I can survive anything.

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

How to cook the perfect amount of pasta:
1. Pour out how much you think you need
2. Wrong

[justinsane @Justin_OKelly]

I Afrikaan't wait for tomorrow's exam to be over #Matric2014

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

"@NoChillPosts: BRUH 😂😂 https://t.co/qgGYIsN6q1" @heinrich_11

[Tessa @tess_vdw]

Tenacious D. That's all.

[chrsgovernor @chrsgovernor]

If accounting could kill.