Paddington

Regal Unlimited Girlie

[Paddington @tessco0]

To me he’s Gen Z’s John mulaney except he won’t cheat on his girlfriend or Caleb’s she/they shooters will be after him (compliment)

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

Proof my gf’s night terrors are real

[Paddington @tessco0]

@crowell_da21009 i find it extremely hard to believe there wasn't a single skilled or qualified woman ready for this mission, especially with the success of the most recent mission

[Paddington @tessco0]

no women 😭

[NASA @NASA]

Introducing Artemis III.

Four astronauts. Three launches. Two dockings. One splashdown.

In 2027, the Artemis III mission will practice docking the Orion spacecraft with two lunar landers in low Earth orbit — the capability we need to return humanity to the Moon’s surface.

[shayla @callmeMaharani]

why do men always speak to me like they’re explaining stuff to me. i’m smarter than you. go touch grass and stop talking to women.

[Paddington @tessco0]

girl i don’t even look stories when they’re free 😭

[Tech Ultimatum @TechieUltimatum]

Meta is slowly putting every app behind a paywall 👀

New subscriptions just launched:
• Instagram Plus → $3.99/month
• Facebook Plus → $3.99/month
• WhatsApp Plus → $2.99/month

What you get:
• Longer Stories
• Custom app icons
• Searchable viewer lists
• Premium stickers

This is separate from Meta Verified.

Translation: The “free” social media era is slowly turning into: Free app + ads + subscription 😭

Next step: “Watch this Reel after a short ad… unless you buy Meta Ultra Pro Max.”

[Paddington @tessco0]

Protect and support trans people.

[Paddington @tessco0]

Electric cars are so weird where is there a spaceship in my driveway

[Paddington @tessco0]

Hank Green is very attractive are we aware of this??

[Paddington @tessco0]

Cute essay we’re actually just mad at billionaires and shitty fashion it’s not that deep

[Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 @cmclymer]

“The Met Gala is so elitist and detached.”

No, I’m sorry, you’re not annoyed with the Met Gala because it’s elitist.

I can accept other reasons like annoyance over Jeff Bezos funding it. Fine. That’s valid.

But claiming it’s broadly elitist because celebs wear fun and interesting costumes on a red carpet is not why you’re annoyed.

You watch millionaire athletes compete against each other in stadiums and ballparks owned by billionaires who price out working class families because they want more perks for wealthy sports fans.

You voted for a fake billionaire who is obsessed with gold-plated furnishings and elective plastic surgery.

You listen to bro podcasters who are millionaires and ludicrously removed from the problems facing working class families, who then try to pit you against other working class families.

And you love all that. You can’t get enough of it.

You’re not annoyed because the Met Gala is “so elitist.”

You’re annoyed because it’s too feminine-coded and queer-coded for your taste, and the thought that, somewhere, women and queer people are having a good time gets on your nerves.

So, just say that.

Grab your fragile nutsack and have the balls to be honest about why you have no issues with conservative men enjoying themselves in wealthy settings but you draw the line at women and queer people.

[Paddington @tessco0]

@WhiteHouse Thank God I don’t need to renew mine

[Paddington @tessco0]

@dodechaedrons Who’s your favourite artist?

[Paddington @tessco0]

@megannn_lynne It’s the country Canadians are nicer

[Paddington @tessco0]

In this economy it’s all we’ve got

[Dani 💸 @alcisnerosfan]

You all smoke way too much weed i get through a third of a joint and my hair starts feeling like a hat

[Paddington @tessco0]

@tomieinlove This would go platinum on LinkedIn

[Paddington @tessco0]

@r3a9an_k_ Like the Moons just…there like right there?

[Paddington @tessco0]

@nyliberty Not without ☁️

[Paddington @tessco0]

@Bey_riding It did not

[Paddington @tessco0]

Hi I have a dumb person question 🙋

Why are we going in 2’s like why not Artemis III?

[Pop Base @PopBase]

ARTEMIS IV is targeting an early 2028 launch for NASA’s first crewed Moon landing of the new era.

The Artemis program will build the foundation for the first crewed missions to Mars.

(https://t.co/UsegXFQfFE)

[Cormac 🇵🇸 @yungpapist]

TSA pre check should let you make one bomb joke

[Paddington @tessco0]

Using the r word really sells your campaign

[Mark Moran @itsmarkmoran]

@1LineDrawing Read the website retard, nobody has ever talked about my ideas bc no one has had my unique experience - enjoy !!

[Paddington @tessco0]

omg “one stroke and you’ve consumed my waking days” as an innuendo is crazy