Tess(a)

her voice reminds me of a summer morning and hot chocolate

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

rather than tape, I put Vaseline on my webcam, so the government thinks I'm pretty

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

Me: helloo (clearly trying to hide my habitual frank walker national tiles impersonation)

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

wish my grandma was alive, she would have really hated that the queen died and so charles would be sending her ‘happy 💯’ bday card

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

3/4 latte has to be the most Pompous coffee order, we get it mate, you like it strong and you never learnt to say “macchiato”

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

@Alldogsaredead

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

Sometimes I think my microwave door shuts too loudly and another times I think I just have anxiety

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

Mouth and hand (the original knife and fork)

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

I should start tweeting more I’m very funny

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

Anyone else got hot pink docs from Lost and Found that are suspiciously quickly cracking? #conspiracy #fakevintage

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

Hey @neighbours wonder if you’ve thought about ending the whole series with Karl and Susan standing on ramsey “street” and then saying “you know, this is a Court”

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

@ShutUpaSec I’ve got a question - what the fuck?

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

im very displeased about puppet in general and now very very unhappy about the current situation #MaskedSingerAU

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

breaking my silence to tweet about the masked singer

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

Who remembers QWOP?

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

Say what you want about Michael Bublè but his cover of Santa Baby is an abomination to The festive season and every time I hear it I vomit

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

I have started referring to my Me Time as Tessy Time and I just went to type it and it corrected to trash time and I know I say BIG MOOD a lot but honestly

[Hamson Dan @Alldogsaredead]

Seeing a pretty lady is like getting slapped in the face and seeing a hot guy is like getting punched in the stomach. Thanks for listening.

[Dee @figgled]

Keep thinking about when mum told me she chatted with a young guy on the bus and he showed her photos of his baby so she showed him one of me. I’m 30

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

@steveeSUPREME What do you mean??

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

Hey gang it turns out I'm actually a Great Aunt to multiple kidlets and what the fuck

[Tess(a) @tesshead]

Twitter hasn't seen a pic of me recently, and my work always has fun lighting setups to try so here's this xx