the goblin king

self help blog

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

The incredible experience of spacing out at the Costco food court and being snapped back to reality by the worker confidentially shouting the order number "9/11"

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

Just saw a new type of guy: very large, blue color looking bearded man getting into a Ford F350 with a custom "h3ntai" license plate

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

Default barbie is the inverse Andrew Tate of barbieland

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

I rate movies by how much I need to fight the urge to buy the main character's jacket afterwards

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

The European mind would crumble if they had to turn left across a 4 lane highway

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

Shit on my money, call that gross income

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

Mormons talk about Disneyland like it's Coachella

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

Don't know who Tyler Smith or whatever their name is but the new Ice Spice track "Karma" goes hard

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

Pulling the credit card sized mass of micro plastics out of my veins to pay for my coffee in the morning

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

The orange gold is stored in the powerlines, you can just take it

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

she say i hammer it like Celebrimbor

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

Sicko mode is still such a fucking good song

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

Calling the Chile's waitress "Garçon" until she tries to poison me

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

@SodiumSupreme But we aren't shipping them to Ukraine now are we?

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

In WW3 you're probably going to have sponsorships. Your uniform will be branded by NIKE and you damn well better die with the logo facing out

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

People 5'4" and under are always in a rush

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

Remember when costco sold gelato? This country has turned into a nightmare

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

Avatar 2 is not infact better the 2nd time you watch it.

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

They call me Winnie the Poo the way I be shittin on y’all

[the goblin king @th3G0blinking]

*me snorting a rail of protein powder* "yeah I call it growcaine"