allie

[allie @thanksalison]

My favorite work memory is a few years ago I was serving a table that was like a baseball team of 13 yr olds. One of them asked for my number and before I could respond handed me his kids menu and a crayon to write it down #funny #server #Memes

[allie @thanksalison]

I work @ hooters and the other day took a to go order to a car and the kid asked for a pic. I asked if the pic we took was good and he says “no it’s an Android” then drove away. #funny #waitress #Memes

[Mowgli @Holy_Mowgli]

Moses: whoa it’s a burning bush

God: M҉o҉s҉e҉s҉

Moses: what

God: ҉O҉N҉L҉Y҉ ҉Y҉O҉U҉ ҉C҉A҉N҉ ҉P҉R҉E҉V҉E҉N҉T҉ ҉F҉O҉R҉E҉S҉T҉ ҉F҉I҉R҉E҉S҉҉

[m ¨̮ @melmadara]

julius caesar: who’s gon check me boo?

brutus:

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
🔪 👁 👁🔪
🔪 👃🏻 🔪
🔪👄 🔪
🔪

[javeigh @javeigh]

me during commercial breaks in 2009

[eric curtin @dubstep4dads]

me: my grandpa died

guy who takes cbd: he should try cbd oil. works so good for me i swear by it. u can vape it or even eat it like in edible form

me: he’s dead

[dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch]

please don't dress better than me at my own funeral because that is my last chance to get laid. thank u

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

Sure, teenagers can hang out in the woods at night, but when I do it I'm "acting suspicious" and "hiding something under that tarp" and "hereby sentenced to death by the state of Arkansas"

[allie @thanksalison]

Bought coke the other day and the dealer said “ya’ll have a blessed night.” I hope he’s having a good day.