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[boob dylan @BYUsupersoaker]

they should give one person on love island a gun but nobody knows who

[𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖍𝖔𝖙 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖘𝖍 @subpargarbage]

finally back from the drs with my diagnosis

[Modi @yogitss__]

first in my bloodline to hate men the way they should have been hated all this time.

[Chris @citehchris]

can you die from a lack of being called big dawg

[er @thatbitchtweak]

@geoisdefcon @ma1ybe Or let’s give every male at birth hysterectomies and they can decide when to reverse it since MEN impregnate women, also all you broke losers never want to wear a condom or don’t pull out because you like to trap women and then walk away after the baby is born because you’re bums

[ninaaaa ☆ @cosmoninaut]

i am whatever the opposite of a cinephile is i love stupid movies I love rewatching them a million times i love never having seen the godfather

[Farzad 🇺🇸 🇮🇷 @farzyness]

Whoever designed this needs to be fired immediately:

[🕷️ @rtzvv]

this is how i feel 90% of the time

[sabunny @mama_moons]

they are saying being almost 30 is very chic and sexy and in right now

[jp @jus10pr]

Overdrank, overspent and funmaxxed this weekend

[Anomaly @BRUIS3D_ANG3L]

Half cursed on my dads side and half haunted on my moms side

[♰ 𝙽𝚊𝚎𝚝𝚘 @fw_naetoblaq]

Me: whatever happens happen

Whatever: *happens*

Me:

[Mo @fruitpibble]

computa make it stop

[ຸ @fvckfemi_]

life is hard but at least I don't have a baby with my ex

[A @seattleiminyou]

What hanging with the girls this summer is going to feel like

[black pepper cracker @__angoose]

Pioneering the “Irish Hello” where I turn up unannounced to a friend’s location

[oatmeal influencer @acechhh]

idk how you guys are with your cat but I will fight my cat back 100%. if he can dish it out he can take it

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

NOW THAT I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, AM OFFICIALLY PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES (THANK YOU DONALD!), I HAVE MANY BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS TO MAKE! FIRST, EVERY TRUMP EXECUTIVE ORDER IS NULL AND VOID, STEPHEN MILLER AND EVERY TRUMP GOON IS FIRED, AND THE TRUMP CORRUPTION PROBE IS OFFICIALLY LAUNCHED! HEALTH CARE IS NOW FREE FOR ALL AMERICANS (NO MEASLES!) AND ALL MOMS GET FREE CHILDCARE SO WE CAN HAVE MORE BABIES!!! ALSO CANNABIS IS NOW LEGAL AND ABORTION IS BACK FOR WOMEN WHO WANT IT. I WILL SOON BE BANNING ALL TICKETMASTER FEES AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE COMMERCIALS ALLOWED DURING NBA AND NFL GAMES, AS WELL AS ALL BRAVO “REAL HOUSEWIVES” SHOWS (LONGER EPISODES!). EVERY AMERICAN FAMILY NOW GETS A “TARIFF AND GAS SPIKE REFUND” TO BUY A CHEAP ELECTRIC CAR! THE COUNTRY IS NOW RUN BY SOMEONE WHO CAN ACTUALLY COMPLETE A SENTENCE. AMERICA IS NOW “HOT” BECAUSE YOU HAVE A DYSLEXIC PRESIDENT INSTEAD OF A BRAIN-DEAD ONE. BIG UPGRADE!!! — GOVERNOR GCN

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

Friday the 13th doesn’t seem so ominous anymore now that every day carries a threatening aura.

[Nototrious NLGA @dabignalga13]

California is soooo expensive! No shit! Can’t find this in Alabama.