DJ Gallo, Inc.

hilarious writer, distinguished author, acclaimed TV guest, egomaniac.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Hey, let's check out how I'm doing as an INFLUENCER.

Okay, mine was 6 hours earlier ... great. That's a +1 for me.

Now, let's check out the RTs and Likes and ... oh, drat.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Me, streaming Episode 74 of a show I hate just because: "I sure am."

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

The American people are stepping up and rising to meet this moment. It's time for our president to do the same.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Re-reading. Amazing how history repeats.

1. Many early on said panic was worse than disease. (They were wrong.)

2. Some proposed using an untested malaria drug, but it made people worse. Sound familiar?

3. Some proposed injecting disinfectant.

We are a very dumb species.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

This is a good book if you want a topical quarantine read.

Funnest Fact: The 1918 "Spanish" flu that killed millions started in Kansas and was spread by U.S. troops, but the government stifled all media coverage here while the Spanish gov didn't, so it was linked there. Neat! 🙌🏽

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Well, that's that. The presidency of DRUMPF is officially over.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

With everyone bored at home, I'm expecting some wildly bizarre new dog breeds out of quarantine. Let's see a bulldog squirrel, weirdos.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Each one bleach one.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Lunch time!

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Bought one of these to shoot light into my orifices and dead coronavirus immediately fell right into the bowl. 🙌🏾

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

@Mel629_ https://t.co/sTBOlgbiGJ

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

"The disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning. It gets in the lungs" -- Trump seems to suggests that injecting disinfectant inside people could be a treatment for the coronavirus

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

I can't believe people are really watching these press conferences.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Shooting light and bleach inside the body today, I hear? You guys liking? Still being educated?

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

You guys still getting good information from these, yes?

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

If there's one thing I know about middle America, it's that no opinions are held as more valuable than those from ethicists.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Was a decent final scene worth 10 boring episodes? I mean, I guess so here in The Quarantine Era of humanity.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Watched the first two episodes of Season 3 of Ozark. Looks like the storyline this season focuses on me realizing I don't like this show anymore and that all the characters are annoying.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

In fairness, the ballot was:

▪️Carolyn Goodman
▪️the guy who shot Tupac
▪️a cactus with gonorrhea
▪️having to hang out with Celine Dion
▪️hot dust

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

The Las Vegas mayor won with 83.5% of the vote.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Turtles have been pretending they're not fat for too long. No more getting away with it, chubsters!

[Ada McVean @AdaMcVean]

Daily reminder that turtles are not “inside” their shells. They *are* their shells.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

The problem with deep-cleaning my house for a month is that I think I might be a psycho for the rest of my life.

WHO PUT DUST IN THE CORNER OF THIS LIGHT SWITCH?!?!

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

I wish the typo in my first tweet had been part of the joke but, alas, my brain appears to actually be choking.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Sound like my brain is a piece of crap. Pull yourself together up there. You're choking!

[Alexis Rockley @alexisrockley]

TIRED EASILY? That's because your brain is burning your energy 10x faster than usual.

CAN'T SEEM TO FOCUS? That's b/c your brain has temporarily shut down some functionality in your prefrontal cortex—the part that juggles complex tasks + planning— due to the stress response.

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Tough break for the husband of Melania Trump.

[Soraya Chemaly @schemaly]

U.S. citizens won’t get coronavirus stimulus checks if their spouses are immigrants https://t.co/UPbiALS4b4

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

Some of you have never been to Georgia before and it shows.

[Susan Glasser @sbg1]

Has anyone figured out why bowling allies and tattoo parlors are essential to the functioning of Georgia yet?

[DJ Gallo, Inc. @thatdjgallo]

@ModeledBehavior Is this a pick up line?