Rowan Boats

Cancer🌞 Taurus 🌝 Leo rising

[Rowan Boats @ThatRowanGirl]

@Markie_Heideman Not in my cubicle, but in the strip club dressing room 🙈 the regular girls know it’s me when they smell it but new girls are SHOOK

[trash jones @jzux]

no YOUR easter is about jesus. MY easter is about eating so much milk chocolate that i get physically dizzy and need to lie down

[✨lonnie b. fly @alonaonline]

Cancers fighting scenarios they made up in their heads.

[Andrea ☁️🐞 (Taylor’s Version) @AmericanKaw13]

And then his mom, from heaven, saw how he was becoming his father and snatched that hairline right back.

[♉️ c u n t y t a u r u s🫦 @RobynDMarley_]

Imagine being in the most beautiful bridal gown and your future husband says “you got that shit on” 😒

#LoveIsBlind #LoveIsBlind6

[chase @_chase_____]

i physically cannot make a spotify playlist without adding every song i’ve ever liked. i’ll start one called “sad :(” and it’ll end up with temperature by sean paul on it

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

Aliens (completely bewildered) so the groundhog

Me: is clairvoyant, yes

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

I dont wanna order online, I just want to look at your menu. But apparently that’s not an option. So we do the dance

[Joey Monda @joeymonda]

the world finally catching up 11 years later

[Rowan Boats @ThatRowanGirl]

@makroseb Diss track 🤡🤡 you gotta have at least 6 figure income and some accolades related to music in order to release *diss tracks*. Maybe they’ll name it, “The Sounds of Saginaw” lol

[Matt Duss @mattduss]

An English message for an Arabic-speaking population whose communications you’ve already cut off is how you know this is propaganda for Western audiences.

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

Regularly haunted by my own hubris - tried to set my bf up on a playdate with my coworkers husband because they both “really like bikes.” Anyways, it turns out her husband was in the Tour De France

[Wicked Dreams @TheBetterEarp]

This new generation will never understand the absolute BETRAYAL Disney pulled on us as kids.

[Crème Du Meow Meow🍦 @bxtchesnblunts_]

This is the gf I wanna be. Somehow yall keep turning me into DMX.

Won’t explain further.

[trash jones @jzux]

i am no longer available for work. i am only available for hijinks and antics and impish delights

[B A R D I G R A S 🪩 @bardigras]

one thing about me is if you dare to speak badly about the lady who sued McDonalds because her coffee was too hot, I will rant at you so aggressively for so long that it will become family lore. your children’s children will know all of the facts of the case.