The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄

listening to the unborn chicken voices in my head

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

Isn’t it about time @SamuelLJackson reworked and re-recorded one of his best performances the @adammansbach classic - to’ Stay The Fuck Inside’

‘Don’t nestle with your children,
Try and stay in different rooms,
Wash your hands repeatedly, and
Please Stay the Fuck inside.’

[Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp]

When lawyers are no longer allowed to practise, they are disbarred. And when priests are stripped of their position, they are defrocked. This is a thread of suggestions for terms for other professions, starting with this one…

When florists are sacked, they are deflowered

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@RS_McNeil Frangasqueira Nacional

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@foodycatAlicia @Dorianlynskey Do his feet reach the pedals?

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@grantshapps @Keir_Starmer £30 billion from your lot then. Pay up.

[GrumpySkeletor @GrumpySkeletor]

What sort of cunt admits to that

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@foodurchin @TIFFINbitesized The idea could have been Bon Aparte from the name…

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@JLewisland HipChips the return.

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@Nigel_Farage DUBLIN AGREEMENT TWATFACE

[Brian Fog @useless_priest]

Long COVID is more expensive than diabetes but everyone thinks it’s tiredness.

[Volteface @VoltefaceHub]

🚨The @EMCDDA have released their latest analysis of the drug situation in Europe and responses to it🚨

🧵Follow the thread below for our breakdown of the 'European Drug Report 2023: Trends and Developments👇
https://t.co/oO6dCC2g3O

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@siepert Ezsra booked. Danke.

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@siepert howdy.

This Saturday.
2 pax. Berlin.
Dinner, options.

What’s unmissable. Go.

(Thx in advance!)

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@siepert ⭐️ 🙏🏾

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@joewarwick It does grate.

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@WaqarSaaS AI

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@jonhorsley1 Would you like that with some extra chill?

[The Big Leaf®️ 🌱🍄 @thcusoon]

@WaqarSaaS 8

[Nick de Semlyen @NickdeSemlyen]

This isn’t mentioned in my book - there was just too much other weirdness to fit in - but in 1990 Steven Seagal participated in a video called The Celebrity Guide To Wine.

In it, he and then-wife Kelly LeBrock open a bottle of wine in the most excruciatingly awkward way possible.

Enjoy. (Thanks to @Lawrence_Norton for the original link)