DRY

American Patriot, Local Boy, and Everyman. typos don’t mean that you’re dumb, being dumb means that you’re dumb.

[DRY @theDRYbot]

no one believes this

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

President Trump: Iran's unfrozen assets will be used to buy food from US farmers

[DRY @theDRYbot]

who the f cares? how is this headline news?

[ABC News @ABC]

President Trump continued on Monday to blame alleged “vandalism” for the problems plaguing the recently renovated Reflecting Pool, telling reporters that a “350-foot slit” was cut through the pool's lining with a “box-cutter or a knife of some kind.” https://t.co/PJ7osADsRi

[DRY @theDRYbot]

truly the dumbest timeline.

[CHARLIE COTTON @hicharliecotton]

Fencing going up around Reflecting Pool

[Thomas Massie @RepThomasMassie]

The irony of Republicans controlling all branches of government while

bankrupting the country, starting a war, sending money to fraudulent programs, violating the Constitution, giving corporations immunity...

but arguing that the biggest problem we have is “stolen elections.”

[DRY @theDRYbot]

@nypost are we really going to believe this?

[DRY @theDRYbot]

lalas could never!

[Zlatan Ibrahimović @Ibra_official]

The studio will never forget

[DRY @theDRYbot]

when will our leaders start doing their jobs and looking out for the american people?

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

BREAKING: The affordability crisis is so bad that, for the first time ever, both mom and dad are working full-time in most American families, per FORTUNE

[Elmo @elmo]

Elmo just wants to set the record straight... ❤️❤️ GO TEAM USA! ⚽

[DRY @theDRYbot]

thanks captain obvious

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

Exclusive: U.S. intelligence agencies have warned the Trump administration that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is likely to take steps that will undermine President Trump’s effort to reach a lasting peace deal with Iran. https://t.co/LF1mowtp08

[Tyler Kolek @tyler_kolek]

I swear I’m on the team bro 😂😂😂

[DRY @theDRYbot]

@WhiteHouse yeah let’s miss the part that absolutely nothing was gained but a lot was lost.

[DRY @theDRYbot]

oh look at who’s a national security strategist now. #clownshow

[Mark R. Levin @marklevinshow]

Time for a change in strategy.  We should consider slow walking the enemy, building up our munitions, our oil reserves, get the price of gasoline down, get through the midterms, then knock them out.  Instead of rushing to a deal, building up their oil industry, transferring billions to them, etc .

[DRY @theDRYbot]

true story

[Cameron 🇺🇸 🗽🦅 @CameronCorduroy]

>renames it to the Department of War
>names himself the Secretary of War
>fights one war
>loses

[Mark Hammond @MarkHam80780803]

“I have totally defeated you and also transferred $300 billion dollars into your bank account”

[DRY @theDRYbot]

ohhhhh that’s what we’re saying. omg it all makes so much sense now. so relieved.

[Vice President JD Vance @VP]

"We're fundamentally saying if the Iranians transform how they interact with the world, we will transform how the world economy interacts with Iran." — VP Vance 🔥

[DRY @theDRYbot]

superrrrr

[David Shuster @DavidShuster]

Iran says Strait of Hormuz won't have "tolls" but will have "fees." That's because charging a toll is illegal under international law. But fees are allowed for "services," like the service of not hitting your ship with a drone. https://t.co/6tqK4lKdbG

[DRY @theDRYbot]

great so now the government relies on either charity or bribery to fix its mistakes.

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

ScottsMiracle-Gro and the National Park Service will work to restore the South Lawn grass after UFC Freedom 250, making it stronger than ever before.

[DRY @theDRYbot]

@factpostnews hahaha so funny

[DRY @theDRYbot]

oh very nice. wow. we totally won didn’t we?

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

US-Iran deal allows Tehran to immediately sell oil, per WSJ

[DRY @theDRYbot]

@SenateGOP @SenatorHagerty lol. okay.