Dave Hoch

Analyst @Strava / Runner @Nov_Project / Fan @eagles

[Middle Earth @_middleEarth]

If Bilbo asked ChatGPT

[Gwart @GwartyGwart]

Flight attendant comes over intercom: “your flight is oversold, I need two volunteers to take a flight this afternoon for a $300 voucher.”

I spring into action. I was born for these moments. This is why I studied game theory. Literal tingles. I pull out my megaphone and address our boarding gate: “guys, they absolutely must off board at least two passengers or this bird isn’t taking off. Every 3 minutes they will increase their bid by $200. If we all hold out for 45 more minutes, 2 of us can make nearly 5 grand each. Textbook prisoners dilemma, this is (3,3) in its most visceral representation. I’m not even going to give up my ticket but I know value when I see value. Let’s make Nash proud ladies and gentlemen. Do not acquiesce. Do not defect.”

Anyhow 2 people immediately accepted $500 and I called them retards on my megaphone and was placed in a detention room by airport police. This is why we study game theory.

[TPS @TotalProSports]

March: "I miss football"
April: "I miss football"
May: "I miss football"
June: "I miss football"
July: "I miss football"
August: "I miss football"
September: "How the f*ck do you leave him wide the f*ck open?! F*ck this shit!"

[Pope Leo XIV @Pontifex]

In our competitive society, where it seems that only the strong and winners deserve to live, sport also teaches us how to lose. It forces us, in learning the art of losing, to confront our fragility, our limitations and our imperfections. It is through the experience of these limits that we open our hearts to hope. Athletes who never make mistakes, who never lose, do not exist.

[maha @mahaaaay]

saying “allen iverson?” really loudly when people mention AI

[Dave Hoch @theDaveHoch]

@SethLaReau @AaronNagler tough draw

[Dave Hoch @theDaveHoch]

@SethLaReau Sir this is twitter

[Jawn Gonzalez @JohnGonzalez]

Me after every Sixers season: I hate them so much this is the end I’m done

Me during every offseason: YOU GUYS THEYRE SO GOOD WHATS EVERYONE WEARING TO THE PARADE

[smooth lighting operator @mrbupp]

Tax season is so fun. I just click through TurboTax until it tells me it's all done. I have no idea if it's right

[Sixers Nation @PHLSixersNation]

Hawks halftime show did not have to go this hard though

[Nate Silver @NateSilver538]

"Deplatforming" dumb shit is overrated and ignoring dumb shit is underrated.

[Rob Perez @WorldWideWob]

i, personally, was looking forward to the discourse after Jimmy Butler recreates the Rocky IV training scene in Telluride and screams Jokicccc at the top of the San Juan Mountains.

[Dave Hoch @theDaveHoch]

@runnersworld This has gotta be some chatGPT created article for engagement right? Run a race multiple times and you’ll get better? Grass is green sky is blue.

[Dave Hoch @theDaveHoch]

@TraderDemos Go birds

[Dave Hoch @theDaveHoch]

@mattrobmattrob merry christmas

[Eagles Nation @PHLEaglesNation]

Jason Kelce: “We had so many opportunities to win the game. You have to play the game that’s called. That was a facemask on Goedert? No it wasn’t. Because they didn’t throw the *** flag. It’s a losers mentality to blame someone else.”

🎥: @newheightshow

[Marshall Julius @MarshallJulius]

Obi-Wan Cannoli

[With A Martyr Complex (5 Ruins Excavated) @MartyrWith]

In the age of cell phones, the area code has become the ancestral clan name or heraldry. It is a marker of old stories, loyalties, a statement that says "there was a land I came from but am there no longer"

[Dave Hoch @theDaveHoch]

@stevemagness Yes to all the above, but if the average person can achieve all that on the couch, it’ll always be tough to upset compared to getting outside and sweating

[Liv Boeree @Liv_Boeree]

Daily reminder that your brain on Twitter is being hijacked by an algorithm designed to do one thing: maximise engagement. And the most efficient way to do that is through anger.