Shane Le Vie

Reigning butter-hockey champion

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

"do you ever just scratch your face? I've been getting into it lately."
-@ciffers

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

The wife just told me she hasn't seen Crocodile Dundee. I'd rather her say she cheated on me.

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

New campaign idea: end scary movies.

Thank you.

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

"I have no idea what Frescas are."
-@ciffers

Immediate divorce.

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

"doorknobs."
-@ciffers in reference to the door/wheel debate.
No they are not wheels.

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

"What's Gabbie short for again? Gabigail??"
-@ciffers

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

Catherine: quick think of a song
Me: 12! Wait no. That's a number not a song
Catherine: *immediately starts crying laughing*

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

My fiance just said her favorite part of the poptart is the crust. I may be fianceless after that comment

[catherine @ciffers]

@theSassyShay only sociopaths would say three

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

Even numbers only, ladies.

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

"Chugga chugga chugga choo choo? NUH UH."
-@ciffers in reference to the number of "chuggas" before "choo choo"

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

My girlfriend of 8 years just told me she hasn't seen Space Jam. I'm ending this relationship.

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

Three halves, eggo hole.

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

My eyelashes are getting long. I need to get them trimmed again

[catherine @ciffers]

"i'm gonna purge you first, bitch!" -@theSassyShay

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

@Chris_sell92 Truuuu

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

I'm addicted to whipping

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

You got a promotion at work? *Whip*
You have a cold? *Whip*
Oh you have a funeral to attend? *Whip*

[Shane Le Vie @theSassyShay]

Like it's a real issue...