Chore Boy

He/Him
Tom Petty once told me he loved me.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

Whoever has my voodoo doll, don't forget to work the nipples.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

Hey girl, you ready for some of this regular dick.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

@goddammitsarah You look amazing!

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

@goddammitsarah Thats so cool. I watched that movie so many times. Core memory right there

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

@goddammitsarah Hes my youngest boys favorite Spiderman, I am so excited.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

@goddammitsarah Super cute!

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

@goddammitsarah Better now!

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

I once dated a girl who's vagina had the same rules as fight club.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

"Thats going to make a great before photo"- me looking at every picture I've taken for the last 3 years

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

I just cut off a Lady Diana impersonator on the 101, crown and all.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

There was a guy so tall at the airport they had to send him through the Xray machine.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

I've been training for the worlds strongest man competition. Incorrectly, I've been told. Apparently they discontinued the emotional events.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

Where I'm from *long drag off cigarette* streets and schools are namesd after the oldest and whitest of men.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

All foods are just versions of soup.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

I don’t want to brag about how much better I look now that I’ve lost weight, but I was just charged with “Decent Exposure.”

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

Tell me your favorite Baldwin, Wayans, and Wahlberg and I'll tell you what tax bracket you grew up on.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

I wrote my father's obituary, it was strange to write somthing so final for a man I barely knew.

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

My mom was right. I’ll never be her favorite child.

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

This should be shared by everyone!

[Chore Boy @TheAAronSheehan]

Saying @TillamookDairy sucks to someone from the PNW is equal to saying the @Patriots suck to someone from New England. My divorce paperwork can prove this.